Ain't just, Super Mark - it
You've heard of bar hopping right? These peoaple are S-hopping[S(tore)-hopping]. And these people in the stores are getting more than they bargained for.
In Three parts
Scene1
{
[ A Guy goes into the store with his date. They walk around poking at stuff they need. Then they pass a stock boy. ]
Girl: (Gets in real close quarters to the sock boy and the Guy she's with totally notices.) "I hope you know your way around, cause I was hoping you could help me get some of the best Leiz((pronounced Lays)) ever."
StockBoy: (Smiles with his eyes fixed onto to hers)
Guy: Ah-hem! (cutting in between them to face the stock boy) She means the snack isle, Could you help us find it?
(The stock boy leads them to the chips and walks away)
Girl: (Grabs bottles of Pures water and 7 u' soda in her walk through the soda isle.)
(They all walk closer to the check out lane and the stock boy goes behind the register to check them out. The girl ss beeing afully flirty with the stock boy and the boyfriend is getting upset.)
Girl: I like it best in the can. (She lays down the Leiz chips in a can along with the drinks onto the conveyor belt.)
Guy: (Having had some bad thoughts conveyed to him, grabs at his hair and rips out two huge chunks of scalp from either end with a grunt-yell)
[We end this scene seeing the two drinks put side to side moving down the conveyor belt towards the camera. Reading from left to right from one drink to another it says: 7 u - Pures.]
}
Scene2
{
[Guy and girl are in a store, going to the check-out isle. The guy is carrying a bag of Leiz chips. The guy walks into the check-out lane, and the girl stops short.]
Girl: (Gets down low and bellows/yells like she's having a hissy fit) I wanna get Lei'd!
Guy: I'll take care of it as soon as we get to the car.
(People in the store are now paying attention to the action)
Girl: (Still being incredibly loud) You're my boyfriend I think that you should help me. You'd think since I have you (she tones her voice)...... I'd be able to get Leid.
(A woman in the isle next to her looks at her as if a girl shouldn't be making this scene in front of everyone. As if she should try to be more of a Leidy)
Girl: (notices the looks and reactions and except from turning to see them gives no visible reaction.) I haven't gotten a single Lei out of you the whole fricking day.
(A shopper in the next lane holds his head down like he's ashamed/embarrassed from the whole scene)
Guy: (Looks to the girl at the check out lane and is handing her some change. She smiles politely and he smiles back. He is acting as if he doesn't even notice whats going on. He is getting change out of his pocket and putting it in her hand. He pauses and turns to address his girlfriend.) Honey look I already gave the lady 85 cents if you hold on a minute and let me give her another 23 cents we'll all get Lei'd I promise.
(We see the coulple walking out together holding hands and happy. The camera zooms in on the bag of chips, It reads: Leiz potato chips /"Get Lei'd"/)
[Fade out]
}
Scene Three
{
[A couple goes into "The Tile Store"]
(They are lead to a room by some store employee. The room has many different types of tile on the floor. The different tile types make several five foot wide ten foot long sections. With a different type of tile on each section the people can see what the different types of tile look like and feel like on the floor. There is a sign set up with the names of each of the different tiles and a description of each. The Couple goes up to the sign and notices the Monchong (chinese floor tile).)
Guy: (Turns to the Girl , and while making an undulating movement with his chest says:) Honey we could get our monghong on the floor right here.
Girl: (Gets real close to him and is bobbing up and down) Oh yeah.
Store Person: (Looks like he feels a little akward.)
[Next we see the guy in sort of a push up stance over the girl. He's swaying back and forth vertically over her. She's dragging her hands very slowly and lightly across the floor and bringing her legs up and out and back down again over and over like froggy style. We see the clerk who is kinda scared from the action, and after looking around at the other shoppers responses, scurries off.]
(We now hear the couple thinking while we see their points of view, individually)
[We see the tile move up and down, up and down]
Guy :(Thinking) "I really like the way this moves past the eye."
[We see her feet and hands touching the tile, and hear the quiet sound it makes.]
Girl : (Thinking) " I like the way it feels as I drag my feet and hands over it."
(The Couple who is now standing up is panting, while fixing themselves up. The store person and the manager return to the room. Guy is straightening his collar and lining up his pants and shirt, While Girl is bending over putting her heels back on and pushing her skirt down and realligning the folds in it.)
Guy: (To manager) Ain't a bad stack you got there.
Girl: (Winks and slips the manger a $50 bill)
}
End
| Posted by trckands on September 26, 2004 with category tags of Skit |
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Written by trckands
| Jake Thebeau I've been comming up with funny stuff recently in a wave, things that I've been able to turn into a skit, ad, or song, I've been coming up with stuff and the funnies are still coming steadily. |
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| Jesus cometh in a condom.[quote database] |
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