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Another quickie.[Slightly edited Aug 11,2003 to help in the funny department.]

Voice over: Announcing the biggest sale ever!

[On screen "BIG" in very large and fat, red letters on black background.]

VO: Since the dawn of time, mankind has wanted the biggest and best sale ever. Well, we're halfway there! Announcing the biggest, most massive, gi-normous sale possible.

["BIG" inflates with stretching sound]

VO: We have king-size mattresses, swimming pools, horses, swimming pools with horses in them. All at 30% off!

[pictures of each flash onscreen]

VO: This sale is so huge adjectives have yet to be invented that can handle the girth!

["BIG" returns and it grows past the edge of the screen.]

VO: The Great Wall of China! Save 20%! A sperm whale with gigantism! Save 60%!

[more pictures]

VO: This sale will bring the moon two inches closer!

[Just a red screen is all that's visible of "BIG".]

VO: Antarctica, 30% off! A custom Rolls-Royce built for a T-Rex, half-price!

[more pics]

VO: The Large Magellanic Cloud, 80% off! Buy the Large Magellanic Cloud now and we'll throw in the Small Magellanic Cloud free! That's right, free!

[Astronomical picture of LMC and SMC with arrows that say "80% off!" and "Free with purchase!"]

[Ends with typical infomercial screen,
Send Check or Money Order to:
Monstrogigantic Offers, Inc.
PO Box 99
Barrie, Ont.
L4M 1A7

Sorry, no CODs.]

Posted by vinny9 on August 11, 2003 with category tags of Skit

6 comments
Like the subject says, I thought that there weren't enough jokes. However, "This sale will bring the moon two inches closer!" made me laugh out loud, hence the 3. That and the use of "gi-normous."
→ comment by anonymous on July 27, 2003, Rated it 3

I like the concept.
→ comment by Chronomorph (#11) on July 29, 2003, Rated it 4

Good job! Good crescendo--those certainly are big items.
→ comment by Bryan (#22) on August 5, 2003, Rated it 4

I picture the announcer dude going really fecking crazy at the end. It could be grand.
→ comment by dustin (#1) on August 11, 2003, Rated it 4

I love commercials/infomercials skits. I don't know if this one was "gnarly", but it was entertaining and well-written. Hats off.
→ comment by funnyguy (#95) on September 15, 2003, Rated it 4

" A sperm whale with gigantism"??!!! pure genius!
→ comment by Maryam (#72) on August 23, 2004

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