A man breast feedingI thought that this coutry had equality of the sexes. Men lactate too, godammit!
[Two guys sitting at a kitchen table talking about laundry detergent]
[Woman enters room]
Woman: John, do you really have to do that at the table?
Man 1: What are you talking about, honey?
[camera shoots down, john has a full grown adult (male or female) suckling on his breasts]
Woman: You're doing it again. That's disgusting.
Man 1: Oh you're talking about the breast feeding again. You know, I'm sick and tired of the stereotypes surrounding men and breast feeding. You're oppressing our God-given right. Some men lactate too, you know!
Woman:I just don't think it's right for you to do that, especially with guests in the house.
[suckler looks up (white cream over his mouth), says]
-But its so good!
[John pushes suckler away from his breasts and shouts at wife]
Man 1: I'm sick and tired of the oppression you people have caused us. I'm taking this to city hall. [pause, looks around] Come on, guys!
[many guys appear in various places in the kitchen (each holding a beer), they all shout]
many guys: YEAH!
[transition of scenes, men walking out of the kitchen, down the road, marching music playing (few secs worth). Passing certain house, another guy runs out of the door, shouts at marchers]
-Hey you guys, michael tyson is breaking some dude's head open on HBO, RIGHT NOW!
[men stop, murmur among themselves. General consensus is to watch the fight. Men walk into house]
[switch scene - inside the house]
[ men watching TV, zombie expression on their face]
[wife walks up to john.]
Woman:John I'm leaving you.
[no response or change in expression, wife leaves]
Man 1[to guys]: What a bitch.
[general consensus. Sucklers resume suckling]
Written by dustin