SNL MAD COW SKIT

A skit to play-up the recent news of mad cow in the U.S and the underlying friction between the U.S. & Canada.

MAD COW

A skit to play-up the recent news of mad cow in the U.S and the underlying friction between the U.S. & Canada

[Has feel of SNL Land Shark skits and done during SNL News]

Skit Players & Costume:

Announcer
Maddy - Man in silly cow costume.

Skit

News announcer interrupted by sinister "moo" sound from Maddy off camera, perhaps while doing a mad cow story. Announcer pauses, smiles or laughs and continues with another story. As announcer continues with another story, the "moo" occurs again, but meaner sounding.

Announcer:
(laughing) "Alright, what the hell was that?"

Maddy:
(in cow voice) "Meeeeeee!!!"

Announcer:
"And whoooo the hell are yoooou?"

Maddy:
(in quick innocent, childlike voice) "It's me."

Announcer:
"And who the heck is me?"

Maddy:
(in same voice) "Mad-dy."

Announcer:
"Well, Maddy, don’t you realize that we're doing the freakin' news here, live, in front of millions of people?"

Maddy:
"Sor-ry."

Announcer:
"That's alright. But what's up?"

Maddy:
(towering voice) "I have something to say."

Announcer:
"And what's that? What could possibly be sooooo important?"

Maddy:
(in slow, childlike voice) "I'm mad!!!"

Announcer:
(waving Maddy into the shot) "Get over here you big lug and tell us about it then."

Maddy sits down next to Announcer

Announcer:
(patting Maddy) "Well, what's wrong you fuzzy big bovine?"

Maddy:
(in deep, sad, exhasperated, exhaling voice) "I'm pissed."

Announcer pauses.

Announcer:
"And what are you so pissed about Maddy?"

Maddy:
(in excited voice, slamming hoof on desk) "They think that I've gone mad!!! I mean, all I do is eat, sleep and well (pauses and turns head toward Announcer)…….well, you know."

Announcer:
(looks behind Maddy) "Ya, I think can smell it now."

Maddy:
(slams hoof on desk) "Well, they think that I'm craaaazzy man!!!" (cow-like exhalation)

Announcer:
"And why is that? Do you mean they think that you're a mad cow?"

Maddy:
(almost tearful) "And I don't even eat meat. Well, ground up parts, dried and made into pellets, but really. That's just we do in Canada!!!"

Announcer:
"What are you saying? Are you saying that Canadians are cannibals?"

Maddy:
(in sinister, evil voice) "The devil made me do it.. [Laughing] Moooooo!!!! [Pauses] Ever heard of hockey pucks?

Announcer:
"Ya."

Maddy:
"And what do you think they are made of? Moo-who-who-maa-ha-ha!!!"

Announcer:
"Well, what message would you like to tell everyone."

Maddy:
(screaming, waving arms) "Eat me!!! Eat me!!! Pleeeeaaaseee eat me!!!"

Maddy pauses, turns & kisses Announcer. Pauses. Dry humps leg.

Announcer:
(pushing Maddy away) "Enough said. Thank you, Maddy. Maddy, ladies & gentlemen. Thank you Maddy."

Maddy:
(while leaving the news set) "Mooooo!!!!" [Turns to laugh]

Posted by revolution on December 29, 2003 with category tags of

12 comments
Pretty OK. I wasn't on the ground laughing. But there were the occasional chuckles.
   comment by nose (#120) on December 29, 2003, Rated it 3

I'd start from scratch dude, that had to be one of the worst I've read on this site! I mean that in a helpful way though!
   comment by larrylorre (#103) on December 29, 2003

What are you a vegetarian?
   comment by anonymous on December 30, 2003, Rated it 5

Far too obvious. But the dry humping is good. I LOVE dry humping.
   comment by Chronomorph (#11) on December 30, 2003, Rated it 2

I like the concept of some wacky cow being interviewed. I would say cut out some of the announcer talk, just have the cow spout off whast he wants to say.

Then the stage is really set for the dry humping!
   comment by dustin (#1) on December 30, 2003, Rated it 4

I'm so dizzy from the constructive criticism that I think I'll head out to the barn and dry hump the whole herd...yeehaw!!!

Really, thanks.
   comment by revolution (#132) on December 30, 2003

you should make it a little longer. Maybe what happened before the cow got to the studio. The ending was good.
   comment by Yup on January 5, 2004, Rated it 4

Nerd!
   comment by Me on October 5, 2004, Rated it 1

I think the friction between the US and Canadia in regards to the marketing of products stems from the descrepency of perceived meanings of words by one country and another when it comes to the buying and selling of products. For example Canadian Bacon. I could see where some people might think that means Bacon from Canada. While it in fact tastes quite different from regular bacon. You know it might be more clear if it could just be called by some other name that means- a pork product.
   comment by trckands (#152) on December 28, 2004

Oh you mean kinda like American cheese. You know most people might think a name like that would imply that it would taste like cheese, when in fact, it's taste is closer to that of Butt -er. You know it might be more clear if it could just be called by some other name that means- a non-edible product. Get a life, your writing looks like someone left behind a dump truckands.
   comment by a nony mouse (#152) on December 28, 2004

Wow, thats pretty bad...I think this proves your SNL dreams are unobtainable.
But thanks for coming out!!!
   comment by 1649 on March 27, 2005, Rated it 2

The skit has potential for absurdity.
'Mad cow' disease should be one of many issues during the interview with a cow, not the only setup. If you're a fan of Larson's "The Far Side", then you should be aware of how far the jokes could go.
   comment by Scott on August 13, 2005, Rated it 3

   

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