Aller-G's

{I like this one but it may need to be said to watch your P's 'n Q's when talking about F'n G's} A computerized title "Aller-G's" "They don't take no @#%^$ from trees." comes up on the screen, and shows one (or some) of these characters going through a video game detstroying trees.

[A kid is sitting in front of a TV playing the game. This commercial shows these video game characters that look like gang members using saw-blade gun shooters, giant chainsaws, and flame-throwers fighting trees and destroying them. A kid cheers as he plays the video game. At the top of the screen you can see there’s a points counter and it says "POLLEN COUNT" and every time the kid destroys a tree the pollen count goes down.
The kid is playing the game….
(pollen's coming in through a window and aggravating his nostrils)
Then he stops cause he's getting pollen in his nose. The kid gets up and has to use Kleenexes cause he keeps sneezing. As he pauses the game and walks away, the video game shows the characters
showing their individual skills at destroying the offending trees and rapping about it.]

Aller-G 1(rapping)
“I always keep my chain oiled so it don’t rust
cause these trees: oak maple cedar start my sniffles
and let me know that I must
take out my chainsaw and turn ‘em to saw dust”

Aller-G 2(rapping)
“Sneezing makes me use my weapon everyday
I got fight to keep congestion at bay
So I use grenades to blow these trees away
Ain’t nothing wrong with maple but around me it can’t stay”

Aller-G 3(rapping)
“my nostrils flare
I use Kleenex ‘til my nose’s skin’s rare
so I strap up and let the music blare
cause I don’t like to here the scream of these trees that I have to take down
environmentalists don’t know that when nature tells me it hates me, it really makes me frown
Just something I gotta get off my chest
before I return to putting these trees to rest”

Kid picks up the game and starts blasting again,
(shows the things the particular allergy product fights against, coming up and getting blasted)
(you see him get a kinda mad look on his face as he resumes play, he's determined to get back at the trees.)

[More rappers rap as he plays.]

Aller-G 1(rapping)

"This forestslumber is over
over here over there, cut up woods evrywhere
I'll blast 'em into the great beyond
the tree is the only forest organism of which I'm not fond"

Aller-G 2(rapping)

"They call me TimBurning
This whole forest down"

Aller-G 3(rapping)

"Dog eat dog
man cause log"

Aller-G 2(rapping)

"Kill ever last one of these pollen pooping trees"

Aller-G 3(rapping)

"This tree's bark is nothing compared to the bite of my chainsaw
That put's my mind at ease"

[In the end the kid gets up with the Aller-G’s looking tough and folds his arms with them as they say “We don’t put up with trees, ‘cause we got Aller-G’s”]

Posted by trckands on March 31, 2004 with category tags of

4 comments
It has some decent ideas and you almost have a fleshed out skit. Why not go the last few steps?
   comment by vinny9 (#33) on March 31, 2004

I revised this, could be a real commercial don't know if it's viable that way
   comment by trckands (#152) on March 31, 2004

Decent. Some wicked rhymes and this would be a good skit. Not bad though.
   comment by vinny9 (#33) on April 1, 2004, Rated it 3

Woo! Pollen! Wooo! Can't wait for the sequel... "Ghetto Diagnostics"
   comment by nose on April 2, 2004, Rated it 4

   

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