1) Pandas like bamboo. 2) Thai massages are not for the uber-ticklish. 3) Mai tais are not particularly thai. 4) Three mai tais are not any more thai. 5) If you are going to buy a $2 watch, don't bother getting a Calvin Klein one, they are no better than regular $2 watches. 6) Contrary to what they tell you in law school, engagement letters are not strictly necessary. 7) Thailand is a wonderland of puns.