revolution blog @ Vorg http://vorg.ca/~revolution All items Copyright 2001-2004 by their respective authors en-us https://vorg.ca/505-SNL-MAD-COW-SKIT MAD COW

A skit to play-up the recent news of mad cow in the U.S and the underlying friction between the U.S. & Canada

[Has feel of SNL Land Shark skits and done during SNL News]

Skit Players & Costume:

Announcer
Maddy - Man in silly cow costume.

Skit

News announcer interrupted by sinister "moo" sound from Maddy off camera, perhaps while doing a mad cow story. Announcer pauses, smiles or laughs and continues with another story. As announcer continues with another story, the "moo" occurs again, but meaner sounding.

Announcer: (laughing) "Alright, what the hell was that?"

Maddy: (in cow voice) "Meeeeeee!!!"

Announcer: "And whoooo the hell are yoooou?"

Maddy: (in quick innocent, childlike voice) "It's me."

Announcer: "And who the heck is me?"

Maddy: (in same voice) "Mad-dy."

Announcer: "Well, Maddy, don’t you realize that we're doing the freakin' news here, live, in front of millions of people?"

Maddy: "Sor-ry."

Announcer: "That's alright. But what's up?"

Maddy: (towering voice) "I have something to say."

Announcer: "And what's that? What could possibly be sooooo important?"

Maddy: (in slow, childlike voice) "I'm mad!!!"

Announcer: (waving Maddy into the shot) "Get over here you big lug and tell us about it then."

Maddy sits down next to Announcer

Announcer: (patting Maddy) "Well, what's wrong you fuzzy big bovine?"

Maddy: (in deep, sad, exhasperated, exhaling voice) "I'm pissed."

Announcer pauses.

Announcer: "And what are you so pissed about Maddy?"

Maddy: (in excited voice, slamming hoof on desk) "They think that I've gone mad!!! I mean, all I do is eat, sleep and well (pauses and turns head toward Announcer)…….well, you know."

Announcer: (looks behind Maddy) "Ya, I think can smell it now."

Maddy: (slams hoof on desk) "Well, they think that I'm craaaazzy man!!!" (cow-like exhalation)

Announcer: "And why is that? Do you mean they think that you're a mad cow?"

Maddy: (almost tearful) "And I don't even eat meat. Well, ground up parts, dried and made into pellets, but really. That's just we do in Canada!!!"

Announcer: "What are you saying? Are you saying that Canadians are cannibals?"

Maddy: (in sinister, evil voice) "The devil made me do it.. [Laughing] Moooooo!!!! [Pauses] Ever heard of hockey pucks?

Announcer: "Ya."

Maddy: "And what do you think they are made of? Moo-who-who-maa-ha-ha!!!"

Announcer: "Well, what message would you like to tell everyone."

Maddy: (screaming, waving arms) "Eat me!!! Eat me!!! Pleeeeaaaseee eat me!!!"

Maddy pauses, turns & kisses Announcer. Pauses. Dry humps leg.

Announcer: (pushing Maddy away) "Enough said. Thank you, Maddy. Maddy, ladies & gentlemen. Thank you Maddy."

Maddy: (while leaving the news set) "Mooooo!!!!" [Turns to laugh]
]]> https://vorg.ca/505-SNL-MAD-COW-SKIT revolution Skit 2003-12-29T20:57:50+00:00 https://vorg.ca/505-SNL-MAD-COW-SKIT#replies