Cattle Approbation Festival, Letter On - May 18, 1864
The following telegram was received by the Ministry of Livestock from Alderman Crommeth Wentwhistle of Shropshire County and reprinted here fully by permission of Chief of Council Windlemark Penningforth -Sir, it is with great regret that I must inform you of our County's opposition to your Cattle Approbation Festival to be held on Lord Stentbender's property, within Shropshire County, on the forth-coming September 14th in the year of Our Lord 1864.
The County Council wishes it to be known that Lord Stentbender's property will be overrun with foul beasts of all manner of cattlery and the subsequent odours emanating from the property shall surely give the fair residents of our County, good Christian men every one with nary a Moor in sight, an infection of the French Disease. While such an afflication may suitable for the French, it is of no use to the Queen's men.
And while Lord Stentbender may happily return to his house in the City when the Festival has ended, our residents may not avail themselves of such luxury as they are all still reeling from the unjust imposition of a Vaccine Tax. The pointless inoculation of our citizens has left them impecunious.
The Council wishes it to be known that re-numeration to the members of our Council can be sent that would allow us, in good conscience, to allow the Festival to proceed. The following is a list of acceptable items:
6oz. roast beef, 11lb of potatoes, 11lb of plum pudding, 3 trollops from either St. Pancras or Marylebone workhouses, 1lb sugar, 2lb tobacco or snuff, a sack of oranges and lemons from St. Clemens, or 3 pounds, 4 shillings apiece.
Good-day to you,
Alderman Crommeth Wentwhistle, Esq.
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