Dear Diary
August 22, 2003I had always wondered why Master wore such bizarre and foreign clothes. I once saw a terrier with a tartan sweater. He was sadly oblivious to his humiliation. Terriers are stupidly happy no matter what happens which is why they are easily oppressed and subjugated by their foppish masters. We, Golden Labs, have dignity to maintain. No self-respecting dog wears anything but their collar with pride.
Yesterday, Master was walking around without his clothes after the phone rang while he was in the shower.
I was stunned. I halted, mid-saunter, and let the sight before me unfold in slow motion. My jaw dropped and my tongue lolled out.
Master has no tail.
Poor master! How he continues to live a life of normalcy is the very height of strength and courage! What horrific accident could have brought this about? The idle hand of God sweeps lazily over us all. Destruction here, bounty there. There can be no justice, no sense in a world where Master has paid so terrible a price. No tail...
Cat was not impressed when I told him what I saw. He scoffed and suggested masters do not have tails.
I used to think Cat was merely simple. Cat is clearly a full-blown idiot. Master is both a victim and a hero.
I will step on Cat's tail tonight.
Stupid Cat.
| Posted by vinny9 on August 22, 2003 with category tags of Weblog |
Written by vinny9
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