| Dear DiaryDecember 9, 2003
 Fuck.
 
 Where the fuck am I?
 
 Diary, I am royally, totally, unarguably, majestically, colossally, cosmically, fundamentally screwed. I am lost. I've been up and down these streets for a week. None of these lawns look like my Master's. I can't even detect a hint of his scent.
 
 My god. I had to lick a pizza box last night. How the mighty have fallen. I slept under a vent last night. I woke up and there was a raccoon next to me. Those asshole raccoons stink.
 
 I was out for a walk in the park with Master and then I saw a squirrel and then... that's it. That is all I can remember.
 
 I really fucked myself hardcore this time.
 
 Rover
 
 
 
 
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