I've got bad news, and good news: The execution skit
INT:A drab gray room has several men in fatigues, with large
knives, standing behind American TV personality Mark Hopkins, of the Mark Hopkins Show, who wears a jumpsuit and is blind folded. He bobs his head as if he hears a song
in his head.
A man with a large sword approaches him after he adjusts a video camera, catching the whole scene.
Executioner:
What are you doing Hopkins? There is no music in here!
Hopkins:
I can't get this song out of my head: "Hey Mr. Taliban, Taliban banana, Bagdad hot and I wanna go home."
Executioner:
“Hopkins, you are an infidel! An infidel, an infidel!
By the way, how was your breakfast?
Hopkins:
Not bad, thanks, but a bit spicy, so don't be offended if I'm a bit gassy. (farts)
Executioner:
Infidel! Infidel! Infidel (coughs)
(waves hand in front of his face)
Jeez, who's killing who here!
Where was I?...
I have bad news and I have good news for you.
Hopkins:
“What’s the bad news?”
Executioner:
“Your head comes off on Monday”
Hopkins:
“Damn, I hate Mondays, I never have anything good happens on a Monday”
Executioner:
(crosses arms smugly)
“So, ready to plead for your pathetic life?”
Hopkins
“I’m not really the pleading type, besides, I’ve been
Pretty depressed lately.”
Executioner:
“OH, come now, plead just a little bit?”
Hopkins:
“No, not my style. Just get it over with,
With Seinfeld cancelled and only reality tv,
You might as well cut my head off.”
Executioner:
“Trust me, you’re no Seinfeld...you have too many puns
and your humor borders on the tasteless...
Oh come now, plead a little, we’re wasting tape!”
Hopkins:
“Hey...I thought you said you had good news?”
Executioner:
“Oh, I’m saving a ton of money on my car insurance.”
Hopkins:
(pulls off his blindfold)
“Can I have their number?”
Executioner:
‘Sure, my friend, I give you the number Tuesday.”
Hopkins:
“Cool,....hey...wait a minute...Tuesday?
Both start laughing with their heads titled back, give each other a high-five
And freeze frame.
| Posted by NickVegas on October 28, 2004 with category tags of Skit |
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Written by NickVegas
| nick vegas I do a public access cable show in Los Angeles and accept any and all video submissions. Feel free to email me for snail mail address. |
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