Battle of wits: Answer this email

I just got this rather odd email. I declare a Battle of Wits!

How should I answer this email?

From: PJ <psje****@hotmail.com>
Subject:
To: lux@sillysoft.net

how do I get hooked up?


Posted by dustin on March 25, 2005 with category tags of

3 comments
Ingredients:
1 CD "Loc'ed After Dark"
2L of unleaded gasoline
1 pack of Big League Chew
5 pairs of socks (white)
1 9V Battery
8 red snooker balls
1 blue snooker ball
1 Honus Wagner baseball card
6 eyes of newt

Directions:
Run and don't stop until there's the barrel of a gun at the base of your skull.
   comment by vinny9 (#33) on March 25, 2005

Since no answer is a duplicate answer I declare Vinny the winner. Anyway, later on the same person more some emails with more details. They were having trouble setting up Lux and have been tech supported.
   comment by dustin (#1) on March 26, 2005

Dear How Do I Get Hooked Up:

1. The Hair. Do somerhing about the hair.

2. Studies show that canary yellow sneakers cause a preciptious drop in sexual hormones in 87 percent of breeding age females. So, no pressure, just telling you the odds.

3. A beard is fine, but when it creeps up to your eyes like that you look like Grok the Cave Boy. Do some trim to get some trim, I always say.

4. Eye contact is alluring to the opposite sex, but your habit of making unceasingly for 15-20 minutes at a time borders on psychopathic.

5. Dude, what is that smell ?!?!

Best wishes,

smaug

   comment by smaug on March 27, 2005

   

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