This is not why I went to college

Are you in the Shitty Tipper Database? The very existence of this makes me happier somehow. I fully intend to start submitting the assholes I come across. A shitty tip is like a punch in the heart.

Posted by alice on November 4, 2005 with category tags of

11 comments
"A shitty tip is, by my definition, any gratuity under 17% for service which one's peers would judge as adequate."

Since when was 17% a 'normal' tip?!?!?!!?! Are you freakin' kidding me? What is the world coming to when I can leave a 15% tip and be called a shitty asshole? That is like a punch in the heart.
   comment by goodladd (#144) on November 4, 2005

You beat me to the punch, Ladd. There is no way that 17% is normal! I better not use my napkin, cause I'll need it at the end of the meal do some f&*@ing arithmetic to figure out what 17% of my bill is!

Beyond that, submitting someone's name to a website where Google can likely find it is vile! Now people'll know I solicit prostitues AND tip poorly. Great.

I'm sure getting shitty tips really sucks, but it's a fact of life--people get punched in the heart every day.
   comment by Bryan (#22) on November 4, 2005

It also seems like some of these entries are used to defame celebrities. Look at some of the John Kerry entries.
   comment by Alex (#118) on November 4, 2005

Oh, crap-- you're supposed to tip prostitutes? No wonder they've started stealing my wallet.
   comment by goodladd on November 4, 2005

You see? You see? The prostitutes tell you "first time's free", but then they expect a tip. And if you don't tip, they steal your wallet (and post your name on this website).

PS: Candy, if you are reading this, I really need my student ID back. Without it I can't get into Thompson House and the other grad students will make fun of me.
   comment by stretch (#87) on November 4, 2005

No way, I expect 18-20% minimum. But you're foreign, Andrew. I don't expect Brits to tip well! Have I mentioned how xenophobic this job is making me? And racist? And classist? BLACK PEOPLE DON'T TIP WELL.
   comment by alice (#60) on November 5, 2005

Oh, and speaking of Kerry, we do actually get a fair number of politicos, being in DC and all--Rumsfeld is a shitty tipper, but Cheney's cousin was surprisingly good.
   comment by alice (#60) on November 5, 2005

It seems everyone connected with Cheney is good at giving out tips.

Ey-ow!
   comment by chrisdye on November 5, 2005

I don't like this site because it is too rife with holes. I had intended to prove this by adding you, Alice, as a shitty tipper, along with an appropriately mean story. But then I decided I'd just point that out to you.
   comment by Sean on November 6, 2005

I'm sorry, Alice, are you being serious? I can't tell. Out of curiosity, before you became a waitress, did you ever once tip 18-20% in a restaurant?

PS. As a general retort to stereotypes about Brits as bad tippers, I would like to point out that Brits don't need to tip well, because in my country we actually have sensible labour laws that require EMPLOYERS to make sure waiters and waitresses have enough money to live on. And while it's a big fucking shame that North Americans don't have a similar system, I get real tired of being called stingy (in jest or not) because of some other country's dick-poor social policy.
   comment by goodladd (#144) on November 6, 2005

I'm quite serious, I expect 18%. I have tried to tip around 18% since I first became a waitress after high school. But I really don't expect anyone under 30 to tip that well, and there's a few other factors (hurray, profiling!), like race, class, etc. I mostly don't calculate the percentages though, unless a tip is particularly bad or particularly good. Our overall percentage is calculated though, and 18-20 percent is important, especially when I have to tip out to the busser, bartender, and food runner.

It's true, the labor laws here are retarded; I get paid 2.77 an hour from my company, all of which gets taken out for taxes. I almost never see a paycheck.
   comment by alice (#60) on November 6, 2005

   

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