Rant and Rave Post Recent posts have got me thinking:
Do you have any general rants?
What's on your mind?
One Negative
One Positive
4 comments (-) Local peaches *sucked* this year.
(+) It was a good season for local tomatoes. | | |
This is very standard:
(+) I just love this fall weather. It's just so refreshing!
(-) All this damn fall weather does is remind me of the damn cold winter to come. | | |
When I was pretty young I was getting my ass beat by some thugs at school. So my parents sent me off to karate. Let me tell you, if you think you getting your ass beat before you go to karate, wait until the thugs find out you ARE going to karate. The beatings are even worse because now you are trying to defend yourself.
Oh and it’s great, karate builds your confidence up very quickly, but more rapidly then your actual skill. So after three weeks you think you are like Bruce Lee… not the case. So the thugs come up to your and knock your Hawaiian Punch juice box from out of your hands and you go into a sideways attack back stance. You proceed further with a crescent kick to the head, but of course it is blocked. You are thrown to the ground, yada, yada, yada. Your Star Wars – Return of the Jedi lunch box is cracked in half, Zip sneakers torn from your feet.
Moving forward you get better with time and all worked out well. Eventually I got my black belt –note this is ages ago so don’t try and challenge me to an Ultimate Fighting Match. Anyway, the master, we’ll call him Master X, some bad ass Korean dude, said with the black belt you can get a lifetime membership for another $500.
Fortunately my parents put out the cash and I was a most honorable life time member. When they asked him for a contract, he said he is an honorable man, they would not need one. My parents (for some crazy reason) said OK. Moving ahead 14 years and 45 pounds.
One day, after almost having a heart attack going up the stairs, I thought to myself, I need to lose weight, I should go back to karate. Hell I have that lifetime membership. I’ll drop a few pounds, break some boards, yell a little bit… good for the soul.
So I go back to Master X. He is ecstatic to see me. He actually remembered me. So we chat a while, and then he asks why am I coming back. ARE YOU BLIND SIR? I said I’ve gained some weight, want to get back into the program, and of course have a life time membership. Now note: I was worried because my parents never got a contract… I was sure he was going to not remember this membership.
By the grace of god, he does remember the lifetime deal. I went from nervous to very relaxed. In his Korean accent he spoke further. “OOHHAA… yes, very, very gooda you come back. Very happy. We get you backa in shape. We start Wednesday”. “Now… letta me ask yo, how long has ita been since you coma last”.
Now I’m totally relaxed, he acknowledged the lifetime deal, so I honestly answer “oh, it’s been like 13 or 14 years”. I will never forget the response: “OOOHHHHHAAAAAAA ------ MMMMMMMMMMM ----- nota gooda. We have a bita of problem. You see lifetime membership is only good for 12 years, if you stop coming. So from your last time ita 14 years, so we need to have coma back fee”.
I was floored. Now note: this guy is a 9th degree black belt, so you don’t really get nasty, for the fear of your life. I very respectfully came back and said “Lifetime membership means till you die, not 12 years”. “OOHHHH --- some coulda interpret thata way…. But not case here. I give you $1500 charge and you start Wednesday”.
I was livid. I told Master X I needed to discuss with the boss (my wife) but I knew she would not go for it. So I bow to Master X, bow to flag of the school and leave the premises.
I go home, tell my wife and she goes nuts. So next day I call Master X and tell him I can’t do it. Thanks for your time and best wishes. He says OK.
Well Weds rolls around and Master X calls me up. “WHERE ARE YOU. YOU SUPPOSS TO COMA IN”. I was like “boss I told you I can’t afford this and I think it’s a rip off on the lifetime membership thing. (I’m tougher now because I’m on the phone).
“OOOOOOHHHHHHAAAA --- we worka something out. Being you student before I knock price to $1200. You talk to wife.”
I don’t call him back. $1200 is a rip off…. Keep in perspective… I HAD A LIFETIME MEMBERSHIP AND NOW I HAVE TO PAY AGAIN.
Another two days pass and Master X calls me again. “OOOOHHHHHAAAA ---- MMMM- where you? I tell you I drop price to $800. You come tomorrow”. I still hold strong now and say no.
Another two days pass and on this particular day I was coming in from food shopping. It was hot as hell out, I was sweating like a boar, and I get a call from Master X.
Master X: “OOOHHHHAAA – hot today huh?”
Me: “Yes Master X”
Master X: “You a feel hot and sound outa breath”
Me: “Yes”
Master X: “You know why?”
Me: “No sir”
Master X: “Cause you too HEAVY!!!. You need to coma in and work out. I drop another 200 dolla”.
This negotiations would go on for another month or so. Eventually we sorted things out. But the morals of the story: Get contracts. Don’t make deals with people that can kick your ass.
I got insulted and screwed by a 9th degree black belt. Picture on http://www.unleashedhumor.com/2007/11/08/i-got-screwed-by-a-9th-degree-black-belt/
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I got screwed by 9th degree black belt
When I was pretty young I was getting my ass beat by some thugs at school. So my parents sent me off to karate. Let me tell you, if you think you getting your ass beat before you go to karate, wait until the thugs find out you ARE going to karate. The beatings are even worse because now you are trying to defend yourself.
Oh and it’s great, karate builds your confidence up very quickly, but more rapidly then your actual skill. So after three weeks you think you are like Bruce Lee… not the case. So the thugs come up to your and knock your Hawaiian Punch juice box from out of your hands and you go into a sideways attack back stance. You proceed further with a crescent kick to the head, but of course it is blocked. You are thrown to the ground, yada, yada, yada. Your Star Wars – Return of the Jedi lunch box is cracked in half, Zip sneakers torn from your feet.
Moving forward you get better with time and all worked out well. Eventually I got my black belt –note this is ages ago so don’t try and challenge me to an Ultimate Fighting Match. Anyway, the master, we’ll call him Master X, some bad ass Korean dude, said with the black belt you can get a lifetime membership for another $500.
Fortunately my parents put out the cash and I was a most honorable life time member. When they asked him for a contract, he said he is an honorable man, they would not need one. My parents (for some crazy reason) said OK. Moving ahead 14 years and 45 pounds.
One day, after almost having a heart attack going up the stairs, I thought to myself, I need to lose weight, I should go back to karate. Hell I have that lifetime membership. I’ll drop a few pounds, break some boards, yell a little bit… good for the soul.
So I go back to Master X. He is ecstatic to see me. He actually remembered me. So we chat a while, and then he asks why am I coming back. ARE YOU BLIND SIR? I said I’ve gained some weight, want to get back into the program, and of course have a life time membership. Now note: I was worried because my parents never got a contract… I was sure he was going to not remember this membership.
By the grace of god, he does remember the lifetime deal. I went from nervous to very relaxed. In his Korean accent he spoke further. “OOHHAA… yes, very, very gooda you come back. Very happy. We get you backa in shape. We start Wednesday”. “Now… letta me ask yo, how long has ita been since you coma last”.
Now I’m totally relaxed, he acknowledged the lifetime deal, so I honestly answer “oh, it’s been like 13 or 14 years”. I will never forget the response: “OOOHHHHHAAAAAAA ------ MMMMMMMMMMM ----- nota gooda. We have a bita of problem. You see lifetime membership is only good for 12 years, if you stop coming. So from your last time ita 14 years, so we need to have coma back fee”.
I was floored. Now note: this guy is a 9th degree black belt, so you don’t really get nasty, for the fear of your life. I very respectfully came back and said “Lifetime membership means till you die, not 12 years”. “OOHHHH --- some coulda interpret thata way…. But not case here. I give you $1500 charge and you start Wednesday”.
I was livid. I told Master X I needed to discuss with the boss (my wife) but I knew she would not go for it. So I bow to Master X, bow to flag of the school and leave the premises.
I go home, tell my wife and she goes nuts. So next day I call Master X and tell him I can’t do it. Thanks for your time and best wishes. He says OK.
Well Weds rolls around and Master X calls me up. “WHERE ARE YOU. YOU SUPPOSS TO COMA IN”. I was like “boss I told you I can’t afford this and I think it’s a rip off on the lifetime membership thing. (I’m tougher now because I’m on the phone).
“OOOOOOHHHHHHAAAA --- we worka something out. Being you student before I knock price to $1200. You talk to wife.”
I don’t call him back. $1200 is a rip off…. Keep in perspective… I HAD A LIFETIME MEMBERSHIP AND NOW I HAVE TO PAY AGAIN.
Another two days pass and Master X calls me again. “OOOOHHHHHAAAA ---- MMMM- where you? I tell you I drop price to $800. You come tomorrow”. I still hold strong now and say no.
Another two days pass and on this particular day I was coming in from food shopping. It was hot as hell out, I was sweating like a boar, and I get a call from Master X.
Master X: “OOOHHHHAAA – hot today huh?”
Me: “Yes Master X”
Master X: “You a feel hot and sound outa breath”
Me: “Yes”
Master X: “You know why?”
Me: “No sir”
Master X: “Cause you too HEAVY!!!. You need to coma in and work out. I drop another 200 dolla”.
This negotiations would go on for another month or so. Eventually we sorted things out. But the morals of the story: Get contracts. Don’t make deals with people that can kick your ass.
I got insulted and screwed by a 9th degree black belt. Picture on http://www.unleashedhumor.com/2007/11/08/i-got-screwed-by-a-9th-degree-black-belt/
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