Coming of age.
I know you wanna Pocahontas. But just remeber if she treats you good, treat her like her highness, otherwise treat he like a ha.(7th-8th grade kids on a spiritual retreat that includes aspects of entering into manhood.
[Counselor is sitting around with young teens discussing what you can and can’t pray for.])
Brian(A camp Conselor): Yes, you are only supposed to ask for things that benefit a lot of people or at least more people than yourself. I know what you’re going to ask. ””What if I am alone and want a girl, How can I ask God for that.”” Well what you do is just remind God of his special people: the Canadian Navajo Indians. The Concatenation: Canavajo. You can just mention them to God when you are lonely and he will understand your plight.
(The kids are chanting in a circle dance [they all have really small Mohawks that only go about a fifth of the way down their heads’ and aren’t very wide. Like the racing stripe.])
Kids: boobies cha cha boobies boobies boobies cha cha boobies boobies boobies cha cha
Cut to next scene:
Brian: Now we will learn how to blow smoke signals to the female.
(Camp kids are smoking pot and blowing it right into the girls’ faces)
Camp kid: Aren’t you supposed to be far away to send smoke signals?
Brian: No. You’re gonna want to be close so that you can see if she’s sending signals of her own.
(The girls start leaning into the guys)
Camp kid: (to other Camp kid) Sacajaweeda.
(They both start laughing.)
Cut to next scene:
Camp kids: (With two fingers up and their heads down.) Canavajo.
Brian: Now we will take on the spirit of the rabbit. (He passes out chocolate bunnies to the Camp kids.)
T (another camp counselor): to Counselor) Why the Rabbits?
Brian: You know…. *&^%$ like rabbits.
T: Ohhhhhhhhh.
Brian: OK in all fairness kids we have to tell you that not all places are Canavajo territories.
T: But some places are.
Brian: That’s right kids, like the bar, and the club. (To Counselor # 2 now) Can you think of any others?
T: Church.
Brian: That’s right, even the gym can be Canavajo territory.
Cut to next scene:
Camp kids: (in a group) [We hear a bunch of kids doing the “”wa wa wa wa wa”” thing with their hands and mouths. But all we see is fingers spread across their faces with index and middle finger at either sides of their mouths and tongues flicking rapidly.]
Cut to next scene:
(Some kids are building mounds [shaped like boobies] possibly as punishment for deviant behavior.)
(We see two kids blowing smoke simultaneously to form the shape of a pair of breasts.)
Cut to next scene:
(Counselors and camp kids are sitting in a circle)
Brian: Now to end our trip, we will have a magic show.
Camp kids: Yeah!!!!!!!!
T: And as an added bonus we're going to teach you guys about the miracle of firewater.
Brian: A tribesman’s ace in hole if you will.
T: And now for the disappearing act. (He lines up five shots and takes them all in; in like thirty seconds.)
Brian: (already drunk) Firewater can help you tap into your Canavajo powers. It’s like liquid courage.
T: Hey kids you wanna see a T-Pee? (T is relieving himself onto a pile of leaves by a tree while the kids look on in a group behind him.)
(Kamp kids stand on watching and they blink a few times)
CampKid: (Fights his way to the front of the group of laughing kids) What'd he make?
T: (who is finished and decent by the way, puts his arm 'round the kid's shoulders and walks him to the site of his, aaaaaahhh....construction.) Here is a T-pee. That's your home. (pointing encouragingly at the dampened forest floor) That's right Fire-Water makes T-Pee, kinda like the circle of Life. You saw the Lyin' King right?
Kampkid: Yeah sure have. How do I make a T-Pee?
T: Well whenever I do it, I usually use Ma-stapha.
Kampkid: (Sits down there) Am I in the T-Pee?
T: I think you're on something.
Brian: (to Kamp Kid) I think you're on to something. Hey maybe if you did stuff like that, the Canavajo might let you get along with them.
T: I think we all learned a lesson here.
(They are all walking back, and along the way T somehow manages to get into a scuffle with a local lumbersource.)
(Brian and T are now picking fights with trees and hitting on them. [To a no avail])
Cut to next scene:
(The Camp kids are leaving camp and getting on busses.)
Brian: (as he’s waving goodbye) That’s right kids you can find your way to a happier life by plugging out the secret messages hidden in the English language. Here’s some old Anglo wisdom for ‘ya. When you GET IN BED HER things are GETTING BETTER. Bye.
Camp Kids: (Waving) Goodbye.
| Posted by trckands on April 22, 2004 with category tags of Skit |
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Written by trckands
| Jake Thebeau I've been comming up with funny stuff recently in a wave, things that I've been able to turn into a skit, ad, or song, I've been coming up with stuff and the funnies are still coming steadily. |
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| Motivation is temporary, but so is bathing. If you do both, you’ll live longer and smell better. - Zig Ziglar[quote database] |
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