Life at the Top
It's not easy at the top.[Having reached the very peak of stardom, the famous monkey, Giro, has become fed up of all the trappings of show business life. After intensive sessions of psychotherapy with the famous Swiss psychologist, Dr. Schvinning, the reason for the monkey's malaise is uncovered: He longs to return to the jungle. We join our two characters at this moment in the doctor's luxurious New York penthouse study. Giro is reclining awckwardly on a rather large plush couch. The doctor is sitting in an armchair.]
Giro: [sitting up] It's true. You've hit the nail right on the head, doctor. That's exactly what I want. I want to get back to the jungle.
Doctor: It is just as I suspected, Giro. You are going through an identity crisis. You have accomplished all of your career goals; you have followed your true desire to be a movie star, your lifelong dream, your quest, and now, unfortunately, you feel a deep sense of loneliness at having lost part of your monkey identity.
Giro: God...Yes, that's it! How did you know, doctor? This is a miracle.
Doctor: Yes, it is quite common for you ladder climbers. Once there are no longer any steps to climb, you simply don't know what to do.
Giro: It's true, I'm bored. I want to swing. I want to hang upside down. I want to show my teeth. I want to scratch myself in public.
Doctor: Wait one minute, Giro. Yes, I see that you want to get back to your roots, as they say. I see that you want to "swing." But you must be careful. You have been in New York for how long now?
Giro: Ten years.
Doctor: That's a long time for a monkey in New York.
Giro: It sure is.
Doctor: Your life is here Giro. You've accomplished a lot.
Giro: I've done all the pictures. I've done it all. I've starred with Ted Danson. I was even on Friends. Now you try and top that!
Doctor: I don't think that I am capable.[He laughs.]
Giro: You know, I started at the bottom, Doc. I started acting in those space movies. You know, the ones where the monkeys fly the shuttle. Few people know that this genre was originally completely dominated by ourangatangs. But we monkeys, we took over. Especially now. People love monkeys more than ourangatangs and gorillas. I'd like to think that I had something to do with that. Anyway, I'm through with this town, doctor. I'm going back to where I belong.
[He makes monkey noises of exhaltation.]
Doctor: When you go back Giro, have you thought about where you're going to live?
Giro: Hmmm. Well, back at my home. You know, where they trapped me and brought me here. That place by the river, where all the monkeys are.
Doctor: But don't you have a girlfriend here, and friends?
Giro: Elle? Yeah, she's a doll, a real doll. Let me show you her picture. It's here in my wallet.
[He shows the doctor a picture of a beautiful tall blond.]
Doctor: She is beautiful.
Giro: Yeah...But I'm sick of it all. They're all good people. But I often wonder if they just like me because I'm famous. I want to get back, doctor. Back to where I belong.
Doctor: [He sighs a long sigh.] It is just as I thought...
Giro: What is it doctor?
Doctor: It is just as I thought Giro. Poor, poor Giro.
[The doctor gets up and walks to a wooden door, shaking his head.]
Doctor: Just one minute Giro. I anticipated all of this, and so I brought in somebody you may want to meet.
[Sharp monkey sounds eminate from behind the door. The doctor comes out holding a leash which is tied around a female monkey with make-up on. The monkey is quite excited to see Giro. She starts screaming.]
Giro: Oh my god. Doctor, I don't know what to say.
[He is visibly moved. It seems almost impossible for him to stay in his seat.]
Doctor: Go Giro. Go, you silly monkey. She needs to be impregnated. It was a favour from a friend. The room to the back there is free, my good monkey. Take your time. Though I don't think she'll be very patient with you. [He laughs longer than Giro has ever heard him laugh before. Giro laughs too, and takes hold of the female monkey by the paw. The leash drags behind her. In love, they enter the room.]
[Elapsed time. The doctor's laugh.]
[A week later, Giro is back, this time with his beautiful starlet of a girlfriend. He is shaking hands with the doctor at the doctor's door.]
Giro: I don't know how to thank you doctor.
Doctor: You are free again, Giro, free to continue on in New York.
Giro: All that talk of going back to the jungle...It's all kind of embarrassing, isn't it?
Doctor: Yes, yes it is. Especially for a genius monkey like yourself. You weren't meant to live with monkeys, you silly monkey.
Giro: You won't tell anyone, will you?
Doctor: Of course not. [He laughs for a long time.]
| Posted by boxcarwilly on March 30, 2003 with category tags of Skit |
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Written by boxcarwilly
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| Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken. - Tyler Durden[quote database] |
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