How George Bush really got the bruise on his cheek
The scene is in the situation room where several of the Bush administration team is convening.The Characters:
George Bush
Dick Cheney
Donald Rumsfeld
John Ashcroft
Condelisa Rice
and Colin Powell
George is in a small chair where Dick Cheney is drilling George on what he is going to say during his series of 6 speeches about the transfer of power, but George is having a problem concentrating. He’s playing with his tie as if it has a stain on it.
Dick: Now George it's important you get it right this time. No mistakes with... George... George! Are you listening (He grabs him by the lapels and shakes him almost out of his chair). George, George concentrate!!!
George: Yeah, Yeah, I get it, I get it, don’t worry, it’s a slam dunk!!!
Dick then lets go of him in disgust and walks away as he holds his heart as if his heart pacer is giving him trouble. As Dick walks away and Donald Rumsfeld moves into the position where Dick was standing, in front of George and begins to go over what he is going to say about the prisoners.
George is off playing as if he making puppet shadows against the wall.
Donald: Now, I want you to say that the prisoner’s abuse was appalling and the 6 who abused these prisoners will be dealt…with... George will you pay attention!!!
(He smacks George on the top of his head to get his attention). I want you to tell the press you will not accept… George! (He shakes George by the shoulders)
George: Yeah, OK, OK I get it, I get it, and the prisoners will get theirs, right? Right?
Donald moves off with clenched fists, gritting his teeth and stomping his feet as if the little boy just struck out mumbling to himself...
Donald: He’s an idiot, an Idiot, What a moron!!!
As Donald moves away from George, John Ashcroft moves over to George and begins to discuss with George about Homeland security but, once again George is distracted with a piece of string he finds in his pocket and begins to tie it together and starts playing a cat-in the-cradle game.
John: Now George, I want you to start to talk about how the terrorist are 90% ready to attack us this summer, but tell the people not to worry just say… George, George!!! (He raises his voice on the second “George”). Listen to me you buffoon… John then kicks him in the shin and George lets out a howl.
George: Ouch!!! What’d ya do that fer. Dag nabit. I’ma gonna get a bruise.
John: Well if you’d listen to me you wouldn’t be holding your damn shin right now would you.
John walks away in disgust and Condelissa Rice moves over to George and begins to go over how George will present the five points of transfer of power to the Iraqis.
Rice: Now George, are you listening? (George is now almost cowering and folding up to protect himself).
George: Of course I am, of course. I am the President aren’t I? Almost asking a question and everyone in the room begins to chuckle.
Dick: Of course you are. (He laughs and slaps his knee).
John: Who else (As he puts his hand over his mouth to cover his smile and laughter).
Rice then begins to drill him on the five points she wants him to remember.
Rice: OK. You are going to begin with who you are going to appoint as the new Governing council. You will start with….
But, once again George is distracted by Condelessas hair and reaches out to touch her hair. Rice then grabs him and begins to shake him by his lapels. She then rears back and bitch slaps him.
Rice: Why don’t you listen to me you jerk (Slap) Oh no, I made a mark, damn now what?
George: Ouch!!! That hurt!!!
The whole crew then moves in to look at Georges new bruise.
John: Yep, that left a mark allright, boy, you really did it now.
Dick: Aw Hell, Now what are we gonna do!!! He’s got to do that speech tomorrow to boost our numbers or we’re dead in the water!!!
Colin Powell: I got it (This is the first time Colin speaks in during the whole skit).
Colin: Send him back to Crawford and let the media see him riding his bike as if he’s going on a rough ride on his ranch and when he returns we’ll say he fell off due to, I don’t know, let’s say because it rained the previous day, it was slippery and he slipped from a mud puddle.
Dick: That won’t work.
John: Why not.
Dick: Because as everyone knows, it hasn’t rained in Texas for almost a week.
Colin: Yeah but if the people believed that the Iraqis had Weapons of Mass Destruction after his daddy kicked their butts and left them in ruins ten years ago , then they’ll believe anything.
The group all start thinking about it and then began to believe that it was a good idea.
John: Yeah, that’ll work (As he rubs his chin).
Dick: You know we might just be able to pull this one off. (He folds his arms across his chest).
Rice: This is crazy, who’s going to believe that.
They all look at each other and begin to laugh.
THE END!!!
| Posted by captn_bob on June 2, 2004 with category tags of Skit |
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Written by captn_bob
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