|Battle of Wits: Rich White Dudes|
| This is hilarious.|
We are hilarious.
Therefore, I feel like we can download the template and come up with some pretty hilarious stuff. (Examples, as usual, after the jump.)
Additionally, I declare STRETCH the winner of the previous battle of wits. Stretch wins a cushy government job in Ottawa.
|Battle of Wits: Marc D. Rowland|
| Your challenge: find a Wikipedia entry describing a cartoon character, the hilarity of which is immeasurably improved by replacing all instances of that character's name with the text "Marc D. Rowland".|
Examples after the jump.
Additionally, I declare Dye! the winner of the previous battle of wits, mostly because his entry is the only one that still loads with any swiftness. Dye! wins a pun of his choosing.
|Bloggy Battle of Wits|
| So Mr. Marc and I are trying to come up with a good name for our brand new Montreal Improv blog. Your challenge is to come up with some decent names for us to choose from.|
Now if it weren't illegal for us as a registered Quebec business to give away a prize without a lot of hassle, I totally would. So all you can legally get is our gratitude.
I leave it to goodladd to declare winners for the previous two battles.
|Return Of The Son Of Battle Of Wits' Revenge|
| Tube Dubber allows you to take any YouTube video and overlay it with a new soundtrack. Your challenge: harness the power of this tool to achieve optimum hilarity.|
•I Like Big Bytes
|Things Are Not Always As They A Pear|
| Did anyone else ever wonder what happened to Chrisdye's long-time friend and professorial colleague who blogged occasionally at demaisonneuve.com? Well, I was at Edinburgh airport yesterday and happened upon him sitting near the parking lot; luckily I had my camera phone handy and snapped up the scene:|
It appears to me that he is on his knees begging for his life from a particularly savage pomegranate. Any other interpretations?
(This really wasn't staged; I actually stepped out of the car at the airport and witnessed this, with not a person in sight to explain why there might be fruit sitting on a bench.)
(I reluctantly declare Ken the winner of the previous Battle of Wits, even though his entry was clearly a reggae reference rather than a funk reference. However, his was the only entry and, in any case, he's from Alberta -- so I don't think we can hold his lack of knowledge of black culture against him.)
|Battle of Wits: Dysfunktional|
| Sillytech describes itself as:|
"A weblog about comedy, technology, Canada and funk!"
But when was the last time we actually discussed funk? In order to comply with advertising standards, please address a normal Sillytech topic or member in a way that incorporates the concept of funk.
Entries may be based on wordplay (eg. "How many seats will the Liberals win in Parliament?"; eg. "Papa's Got A Brand New Bag of Dicks"), Photoshopping (see example below), or any other medium that you see fit.
I declare Budman and Gil joint winners of the previous Battle of Wits. They each win a circumcision for religious reasons.
|Grizzly battle of wits|
Which of these planes crashed moments after this picture was taken? (Let's pretend the pilot was ok.)
|Battle of Wits|
| What is this sign trying to tell us?|
eg. Parkinsonians convention this way.
I declare Alex the winner of the previous battle of wits. He wins a large beard.
eg. As his weeks-long battle with constipation finally and unexpectedly resolves itself, Bill Gates reaches for the nearest approximation of toilet paper.
eg. With the anti-trust hearings going poorly, Bill frantically tries ctrl-alt-deleting himself.
|Battle of Wits: Asian Edition, Volume 2|
The Sumo wrestler seems quite lost in a world of his own imaginings. Tell me, oh Internets, what is he thinking about? Best answer gets a prize, short stories preferred.
More flickr here.
|Bust a Caption|
eg. The President insisted he hadn't received the memo about the theme at this year's RNC.
eg. "The emperor has no pants!"
|The real definition of GVRD|
| People around here would tell you that the initials GVRD stood for the Greater Vancouver Regional District, our mega-city equivalent. The only problem with this is that it's boring. |
So here's a Battle of Wits: what does GVRD really stand for?
The winner is welcome to sleep in my GVRD living room (until I kick them out).
Giant Virtual Reality Device
Greater Valley for the Recently Deceased
Geriatric Vicious Rock Dentures
Galactic Vole Road Divider
Gooey Vaginal Runway Depression
|Battle of Wits: Asian Edition|
What the hell is this? Please be creative.
| Battle of Wits: Why am I dressed up as a Mexican?|
|Plunder that booty|
| Five buccaneers have obtained 100 doubloons and have to divide up the loot. The buccaneers are all extremely intelligent, treacherous and selfish (especially the captain).|
The captain always proposes a distribution of the loot. All buccaneers vote on the proposal, and if half the crew or more go "Aye", the loot is divided as proposed, as no buccaneer would be willing to take on the captain without superior force on their side.
If the captain fails to obtain support of at least half his crew (which includes himself), he faces a mutiny, and all buccaneers will turn against him and make him walk the plank. The buccaneers start over again with the next senior buccaneer as captain.
What is the maximum number of doubloons the captain can keep without risking his life?