Boring People Kill Boring people kill, they don't mean to, but they do it anyhow.Nine times out of ten these people don't even know that they are boring, because boring people don't notice things. The sky could be falling and they wouldn't even know it. Everyone else around them would be killed by the falling sky, but somehow miraculously the bore would walk away unharmed. Now, I ask you, is this fair? I should say not! However, if history is correct it would appear that God does get even with the bore. You've no doubt heard about Enoch, how God just took him from the face of the earth. The Bible would have us believe that Enoch was a righteous man in a world filled with evil, so God took him. What sense does that make? It seems to me that a righteous man would have done an evil world a whole lot of good. So why take him? Let the truth be known, Enoch was a bore, so God took him! Everywhere Enoch went God's children would keel over for no apparent reason. The lame would abruptly get up and walk away, and the blind would surely see a route of escape. God got fed up with Enoch killing all His children, so He took him! And the children of Israel lived happily ever after until Elijah came along!
There have been no recorded takings since Elijah's time, but I've known some bores in my time that I wouldn't mind He take, as I'm sure you have too. As a matter of fact, I would venture to say that the family I now live with is in mortal danger of a Godly visitation! Just this past summer, the four of us were sitting out by the pool, twiddling our thumbs when the Mrs. suggested we all go inside and watch home movies! All of a sudden we heard this thunderous roar, and there in the sky appeared a vision. The three of them said it was George Burns without the glasses, but I knew it was God, and I mentally noted the fact that He wasn't wearing glasses. My friends wondered why, if indeed it was God, that He would appear to us, until I told them about Enoch. Well, immediately, the Mrs. turned her tune from home movies to let's go dancing! My friends were obviously quite shaken, but I remained calm. Afterall, I knew that anyone that old who doesn't wear glasses is going to have a hard time trying to catch a moving target! But I wasn't about to let my friends know about that. The way I see it, one of them, or better yet, all of them needs to be taken! Anyone who eats the same thing for breakfast everyday, needs to be taken. Anyone who watches TV all day and all night even when sleeping, needs to be taken. Anyone who sits and waits for it to rain all day, needs to be taken. Anyone who reads out loud every cotton pickin sign from home to the drugstore, needs to be taken. Anyone who starts decorating for Halloween in August, needs to be taken. And last but not least, anyone who would watch someone like this all day long for a living, needs to be taken. So God, please, put your glasses back on, I'm volunteering!!
27 comments
| Come-on(not to be confused with "common" which is probably what you are) Anonmymous. Not everyone has to like boring people such as yourself all the time just let the man go. Vent guy. get it all out there. | | |
Lighten up buddy, it's only a joke! | | |
Lighten up buddy, it's only a joke! | | |
| Posting things twice is boring | | |
| Posting things twice is boring | | |
| There are definatly more interesting things in life | | |
| charlie is the best!!! im the biggest fan ever to walk the charlie earth!!... | | |
| robert im with you on this tis website is very boring boring people kill come on thats even more boring than ever | | |
| My first took a look at that block of text and I thought ... boring. Physician, heal thyself. | | |
you rescued me from my boredom...thanx
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The bible is boring, the greatest story ever told that people choose to base there one shot existance on earth on, an its a load of old cobbles!!
Whoppah Honestly!
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| nice try, but not really engaging/funny, better luck next time. | | |
| Heyjude your fuckin' awesome. You just made me think. I'm a bit of a stiff. That is to say IE i take life to goddamn seriously. But if I don't who else will. Still what I think you wrote was awesome and it made me think. I'm going to incorporate some of your philosophy and/or ideology and/or belief system and/or thought processes into my way of thinking. I also think it's awesome that you know some about history. I think we all need to know more about history. Especially history that makes us derogatory, unstable, and useless. Deconditioning is really what I mean. Thanks and look forward to reading more about you from now on. I hate the name of Jesus btw. Learning how to be a Pagan all the way. My family will never forgive me though. Fuck it. They will catch me in the afterlife. I know I did the right thing. Peace and have a good day. | | |
"heyjude" hate to tell you this but you're boring. Not to mention presumptuous and naive. Not to mention a bad writer who doesn't stay on topic. Your page should be taken off of google's search engine. Thanks.
If it was intended as a joke people will know without you having to tell them to lighten up. You need to go far away from a computer. Thanks.
Also, you make me want to scream "praise Allah" in Pashto.
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| im on this website because new years eve i got drunk ripped off a wing mirror threw it at the pub. then drove home had my van keys confiscated, jumped out on a car which had sensible people in that was at the same pub earlier on. went 2 there house i wanted beer and they ate onion rings i made it clear 2 them that it wasnt my seen and set off with a friend 2 buy some cocaine. took friends older van under some car park high restrictors which ripped off the piperack. it goes on and 2 me it was alot of fun.. i want ammo for the boring fools in life.. i want 2 make them feel bad about themselfs | | |
| I agree whole heartedly with the writer. You are not boring, you don't need to get a life - you have your act together. Only thing I would add to what you have written is that all the religious dills be "taken" to "heaven' by their "god:.. This will result in a much decreased human population, so that those of us left would not have to put up with all the crap, greed and angst caused by the self-rightous. I can imagine the reaction to this comment but it really is the truth. If they were all "removed" what was left would have such a wonderful life free of total bores | | |
| some can see the end but for most people you wont even see it comin keep your head up and your eyes wide then at the last second you can say oh shit | | |
| I make my living writing and find this quite amusing. Good stuff. | | |
this is good stuff, good text
makes all the sense in the world | | |
| wow that was sooooo boring it made me vomit and want to cut my wrists thats how boring it was to me lots of love the boring pedo | | |
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