Heyjude blog| Boring People Kill | Boring people kill, they don't mean to, but they do it anyhow.Nine times out of ten these people don't even know that they are boring, because boring people don't notice things. The sky could be falling and they wouldn't even know it. Everyone else around them would be killed by the falling sky, but somehow miraculously the bore would walk away unharmed. Now, I ask you, is this fair? I should say not! However, if history is correct it would appear that God does get even with the bore. You've no doubt heard about Enoch, how God just took him from the face of the earth. The Bible would have us believe that Enoch was a righteous man in a world filled with evil, so God took him. What sense does that make? It seems to me that a righteous man would have done an evil world a whole lot of good. So why take him? Let the truth be known, Enoch was a bore, so God took him! Everywhere Enoch went God's children would keel over for no apparent reason. The lame would abruptly get up and walk away, and the blind would surely see a route of escape. God got fed up with Enoch killing all His children, so He took him! And the children of Israel lived happily ever after until Elijah came along!
There have been no recorded takings since Elijah's time, but I've known some bores in my time that I wouldn't mind He take, as I'm sure you have too. As a matter of fact, I would venture to say that the family I now live with is in mortal danger of a Godly visitation! Just this past summer, the four of us were sitting out by the pool, twiddling our thumbs when the Mrs. suggested we all go inside and watch home movies! All of a sudden we heard this thunderous roar, and there in the sky appeared a vision. The three of them said it was George Burns without the glasses, but I knew it was God, and I mentally noted the fact that He wasn't wearing glasses. My friends wondered why, if indeed it was God, that He would appear to us, until I told them about Enoch. Well, immediately, the Mrs. turned her tune from home movies to let's go dancing! My friends were obviously quite shaken, but I remained calm. Afterall, I knew that anyone that old who doesn't wear glasses is going to have a hard time trying to catch a moving target! But I wasn't about to let my friends know about that. The way I see it, one of them, or better yet, all of them needs to be taken! Anyone who eats the same thing for breakfast everyday, needs to be taken. Anyone who watches TV all day and all night even when sleeping, needs to be taken. Anyone who sits and waits for it to rain all day, needs to be taken. Anyone who reads out loud every cotton pickin sign from home to the drugstore, needs to be taken. Anyone who starts decorating for Halloween in August, needs to be taken. And last but not least, anyone who would watch someone like this all day long for a living, needs to be taken. So God, please, put your glasses back on, I'm volunteering!! | |
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