Old yeller

Looks like Old Yeller's gone bad. Oh well, guess we'll have to put him down.

The Old Yeller Sketch.
Narrator: The story so far: little Timmy has grown very attached to his new dog, Old Yeller. One might say they were like a mango and his umbrella: one just ain't any good without the otha. But now, due to a freak biological experiment, Old Yeller has rabies.

[the hobo is lying down in a corn field on the side of the stage]
[enter Timmy and his mother to the center of the stage]
TIMMY: Mom, what's wrong with Old Yeller? What's that white stuff around his mouth?
[Old Yeller runs around in his pen with whipped cream all over his mouth, the cream gets knocked off, and he puts more on himself]
MOTHER: He's sick Timmy.
HOBO: [to himself, but highly audible] Not as sick as you are, ya old hag!
TIMMY: Is Old Yeller gonna be okay?
HOBO: [to himself] Quit worrying about your stupid little dog, you little snot!
TIMMY: Who's that man over there mother?
[hobo takes a swig from a bottle wrapped in a brown paper bag, and hacks phlegm on the stage]
MOTHER: Oh that's just a poor old vagabond son.
HOBO: Not half as old as you are, you motley cow!
MOTHER: Timmy, there's only one thing for us to do. We have to kill Old Yeller.
HOBO: It's about time you offed that scraggly mutt.
[mother pulls out a shotgun from her apron]
TIMMY: Wait ma, let me do it, he's more my dog than anybody's.
HOBO: Finally doing something for yourself, eh, you lazy free-loading porker.
[Timmy approaches Old Yeller and raises the gun, then he begins to cry]
TIMMY: It's just so hard mom.
HOBO: Oh shut up! Nobody likes a whiner.
[Timmy shoots Old Yeller repeatedly, blood spurts everywhere]
[Mom leaves crying]
[Hobo drags Old Yeller's corpse to the side of the stage and eats a part of it]
Hobo: Hey Timmy, want a bite?
Timmy: [shocked] Are you eating Old Yeller?
Hobo: Damn straight kid!
Timmy: That's horrible
Hobo: It is a little raw I'll admit, but if I got a little mayo it would be snazztastic
[Jazz guys say Yeeeeah]
Timmy: Really? OK, gimme a bite
Hobo: I don't know, I think I'll keep it all for myself.
Timmy: Come on, pleeeeeease?
Hobo: I don't think you're ready kid.
Timmy: I'll give you a nickle.
Hobo: Hmm... Well come back here and we'll make a little trade...
[Timmy and Hobo exit]
Narrator: And that's when Timmy joined the world of the Hobos and from then on the two bums never parted.

Posted by impro on May 30, 2002 with category tags of


Not bad. I think the hobo should convince Timmy to kill his mom too. Who doesn't like a little senseless brutality? That's right. No one.
   comment by Sarah (#5) on June 1, 2002, Rated it 3

killing dogs is not funny.
   comment by anonymous on June 4, 2002, Rated it 1

i don't like the last sentance
   comment by anonymous on June 4, 2002, Rated it 3

Thats really dumb and disturbed.
   comment by anonymous on August 11, 2003, Rated it 1

however made it is gay
   comment by u suck on January 25, 2007


VorgTag CloudArchives

Written by impro
Photo Showcase
Quote Showcase
Computer Games
Friends of Vorg
Popular Posts

Hey You! Subscribe to impro's RSS feed.
Or get wider opinion in the Vorg All Author feed.


Members login here.
© Vorg Group.