Yet Another Skit

Welcome to the Ninja gameshow.

Ninja Gameshow

[Host at podium. Three ninjas sit behind a desk. One in red, one in black and one in white. A sign on the podium reads: Honour or Death. In front of each ninja is a picture of an animal.]

Host: And welcome back. Let's spend a little time with our contestants. In black, today we have Dancing Claw from the Kobayashi Clan. Welcome, Dancing Claw.

DC: (nods head) I am your humble servant.

Host: (looks at index card) I heard somewhere that you are the 14th generation of assassin for the Kobayashis.

DC: Yes, my ancestors have noble souls and are with me during this televised trial.

Host: Very Good! In the red, we have Silent Dragon. It says here (holds up another card) you killed your mentor to prove your worthiness.

[SD makes a throwing motion. A sound of something flying through the air and then embedding in wood is heard. The note card is stuck into a wall with a shuriken. The host is empty handed.]

Host: Ok! Moving right along. In the white, we have the returning champ, Wind Shadow."

WS: My spirit greets yours.

Host: Indeed. Dancing Claw and Silent Dragon are fierce competitors. Do you have any words for them?

WS: They are worthy opponents. It will please me to see them defeated.

[The other two rise and draw their blades. WS does likewise.]

Host: Now, now, boys. Let's get back to the game. [Ninjas sit back down eyeing each other]. Dancing Claw, you're in last place with 'Honour of the Snake'. You have control of the board.

[Show question board with three topics blank (already done) and three remaining: In the Air Tonight, Things that Start with B, and Party Time.]

DC: I choose "Things that start with 'B' "

Host: The question is: what is the name of one who kills a member of his own clan?

[The three ninjas try to karate chop a red buzzer in front of them. WS buzzes in first.]

WS: Betrayer of the Night

Host: Absolutely right! WS, you are in the lead with 'Honour of the Falcon'. Pick the next category.

WS: I choose "In the Air Tonight".

[Red lights and sirens go off]

Host: (shout) Shuriken Round!

[Three targets hung from ropes fall in front of the question board. A dozen whizzing sounds are heard as well as embedding into wood sounds.]

Host: Let's take a look at the board. Well, it seems Silent Dragon has done very well. He has -- (looks over to SD)

[Shot of SD slumped over between the other two ninjas, dead. Several shuriken are sticking out of his back.]

Host: Well then. It seems only Dancing Claw and Wind Shadow remain. And, DC, since you're still trailing, the board is yours.

DC: I'll take Party Time.

Host: What do you do when you find out that your patriarch will be assassinated during the Festival of the Plum Blossoms?

[DC chops in first.]

DC: Lotus paste poison in the assassin's wine.

[A buzzer sounds.]

Host: I'm sorry.

[WS chops in.]

WS: This is a trick question. No honourable assassin would perform his craft during the Festival of the Plum Blossoms.

Host: Absolutely!

[Bell rings.]

Host: Congratulations to Wind Shadow! You've reached Hounour of the Dolphin! That means you've won! I'm afraid that also means...

[DC gets up and falls onto his sword.]

Host: ... that's right. Ok, Wind Shadow, you know what's next!

[WS stands up and draws his sword]

WS: (shouts into the camera) Final Confrontation!

[They walk over to a wall with a curtain.]

Host: To claim the grand prize of matching Wakazashi and Katana blades, you must defeat this challenge:

[Curtain rises. A TV and Sega Master system are showing. Cut to title screen of the classic ninja video game 'Shinobi'. A few seconds of the demo game starts playing.]

Host: The first level of Shinobi!

[SW stands at attention before the TV and nods stiffly to it. He sheathes his sword, picks up the controller and begins playing.]

Host: In our last show, you failed to beat the first level of Ninja Gaiden.

WS: The bats are strong. They -- Oh no!

[Cut to Shinobi character dying in game.]

Host: Oh. That's too bad.

[WS hangs his head in shame.]

Host: Well, we've had a good run today. Join us next time with as Wind Shadow tries to defend his title on 'Honour or Death'!


Posted by vinny9 on September 13, 2002 with category tags of

I love ninjas!
   comment by Chronomorph (#11) on September 11, 2002, Rated it 4

I give this a 5, simply because ninjas rule. And there's the bit about it being funny, too.
   comment by anonymous on July 15, 2003, Rated it 5

Happy Aniversary!

I'm guessing this was one of your first skits. I'm also
guessing, you weed out the mediocre and only submit the cream of the cream. Or are they the cream of the milk?

Anyho, keep up the writing. I have my eyes on you.
   comment by funnyguy (#95) on September 16, 2003, Rated it 4

Liked it a lot, except the ending seemed to lower the energy of the rest. Needs something different.
   comment by larrylorre (#103) on December 18, 2003, Rated it 4

   comment by trckands (#152) on April 3, 2004


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