Yet Another SkitWelcome to the Ninja gameshow.
[Host at podium. Three ninjas sit behind a desk. One in red, one in black and one in white. A sign on the podium reads: Honour or Death. In front of each ninja is a picture of an animal.]
Host: And welcome back. Let's spend a little time with our contestants. In black, today we have Dancing Claw from the Kobayashi Clan. Welcome, Dancing Claw.
DC: (nods head) I am your humble servant.
Host: (looks at index card) I heard somewhere that you are the 14th generation of assassin for the Kobayashis.
DC: Yes, my ancestors have noble souls and are with me during this televised trial.
Host: Very Good! In the red, we have Silent Dragon. It says here (holds up another card) you killed your mentor to prove your worthiness.
[SD makes a throwing motion. A sound of something flying through the air and then embedding in wood is heard. The note card is stuck into a wall with a shuriken. The host is empty handed.]
Host: Ok! Moving right along. In the white, we have the returning champ, Wind Shadow."
WS: My spirit greets yours.
Host: Indeed. Dancing Claw and Silent Dragon are fierce competitors. Do you have any words for them?
WS: They are worthy opponents. It will please me to see them defeated.
[The other two rise and draw their blades. WS does likewise.]
Host: Now, now, boys. Let's get back to the game. [Ninjas sit back down eyeing each other]. Dancing Claw, you're in last place with 'Honour of the Snake'. You have control of the board.
[Show question board with three topics blank (already done) and three remaining: In the Air Tonight, Things that Start with B, and Party Time.]
DC: I choose "Things that start with 'B' "
Host: The question is: what is the name of one who kills a member of his own clan?
[The three ninjas try to karate chop a red buzzer in front of them. WS buzzes in first.]
WS: Betrayer of the Night
Host: Absolutely right! WS, you are in the lead with 'Honour of the Falcon'. Pick the next category.
WS: I choose "In the Air Tonight".
[Red lights and sirens go off]
Host: (shout) Shuriken Round!
[Three targets hung from ropes fall in front of the question board. A dozen whizzing sounds are heard as well as embedding into wood sounds.]
Host: Let's take a look at the board. Well, it seems Silent Dragon has done very well. He has -- (looks over to SD)
[Shot of SD slumped over between the other two ninjas, dead. Several shuriken are sticking out of his back.]
Host: Well then. It seems only Dancing Claw and Wind Shadow remain. And, DC, since you're still trailing, the board is yours.
DC: I'll take Party Time.
Host: What do you do when you find out that your patriarch will be assassinated during the Festival of the Plum Blossoms?
[DC chops in first.]
DC: Lotus paste poison in the assassin's wine.
[A buzzer sounds.]
Host: I'm sorry.
[WS chops in.]
WS: This is a trick question. No honourable assassin would perform his craft during the Festival of the Plum Blossoms.
Host: Congratulations to Wind Shadow! You've reached Hounour of the Dolphin! That means you've won! I'm afraid that also means...
[DC gets up and falls onto his sword.]
Host: ... that's right. Ok, Wind Shadow, you know what's next!
[WS stands up and draws his sword]
WS: (shouts into the camera) Final Confrontation!
[They walk over to a wall with a curtain.]
Host: To claim the grand prize of matching Wakazashi and Katana blades, you must defeat this challenge:
[Curtain rises. A TV and Sega Master system are showing. Cut to title screen of the classic ninja video game 'Shinobi'. A few seconds of the demo game starts playing.]
Host: The first level of Shinobi!
[SW stands at attention before the TV and nods stiffly to it. He sheathes his sword, picks up the controller and begins playing.]
Host: In our last show, you failed to beat the first level of Ninja Gaiden.
WS: The bats are strong. They -- Oh no!
[Cut to Shinobi character dying in game.]
Host: Oh. That's too bad.
[WS hangs his head in shame.]
Host: Well, we've had a good run today. Join us next time with as Wind Shadow tries to defend his title on 'Honour or Death'!
Written by vinny9