Tony the Tamil TigerNothing funnier than a distant, protracted civil war...
[BILLY, a 6-year-old is in the park, looking sad. JANEY, also six, walks over]
JANEY: What's the matter, Billy?
BILLY: I can't achieve independence for the Tamil people in Sri Lanka.
[TONY, a guy dressed in military fatigues and carrying a machine gun appears out of nowhere]
TONY: Sure you can, Billy!
JANEY: [in awe] Tony!
BILLY: Who are you?
TONY: I'm Tony the Tamil Tiger! Just take this AK-47 and join the civil war, and you'll be able to create an independent Tamil homeland in North and Eastern Sri Lanka in less than forty years!
BILLY: [Thankful] Thanks, Tony!
[Theme Music begins, as Billy applies war paint and begins resisting the Sri Lankan government]
TONY: We're guerrrrrrrrrrr-illas!
Written by chrisdye