Ask It

Another quickie.[Slightly edited Aug 11,2003 to help in the funny department.]

Voice over: Announcing the biggest sale ever!

[On screen "BIG" in very large and fat, red letters on black background.]

VO: Since the dawn of time, mankind has wanted the biggest and best sale ever. Well, we're halfway there! Announcing the biggest, most massive, gi-normous sale possible.

["BIG" inflates with stretching sound]

VO: We have king-size mattresses, swimming pools, horses, swimming pools with horses in them. All at 30% off!

[pictures of each flash onscreen]

VO: This sale is so huge adjectives have yet to be invented that can handle the girth!

["BIG" returns and it grows past the edge of the screen.]

VO: The Great Wall of China! Save 20%! A sperm whale with gigantism! Save 60%!

[more pictures]

VO: This sale will bring the moon two inches closer!

[Just a red screen is all that's visible of "BIG".]

VO: Antarctica, 30% off! A custom Rolls-Royce built for a T-Rex, half-price!

[more pics]

VO: The Large Magellanic Cloud, 80% off! Buy the Large Magellanic Cloud now and we'll throw in the Small Magellanic Cloud free! That's right, free!

[Astronomical picture of LMC and SMC with arrows that say "80% off!" and "Free with purchase!"]

[Ends with typical infomercial screen,
Send Check or Money Order to:
Monstrogigantic Offers, Inc.
PO Box 99
Barrie, Ont.
L4M 1A7

Sorry, no CODs.]

Posted by vinny9 on August 11, 2003 with category tags of Skit

6 comments
Like the subject says, I thought that there weren't enough jokes. However, "This sale will bring the moon two inches closer!" made me laugh out loud, hence the 3. That and the use of "gi-normous."
→ comment by anonymous on July 27, 2003, Rated it 3

I like the concept.
→ comment by Chronomorph (#11) on July 29, 2003, Rated it 4

Good job! Good crescendo--those certainly are big items.
→ comment by Bryan (#22) on August 5, 2003, Rated it 4

I picture the announcer dude going really fecking crazy at the end. It could be grand.
→ comment by dustin (#1) on August 11, 2003, Rated it 4

I love commercials/infomercials skits. I don't know if this one was "gnarly", but it was entertaining and well-written. Hats off.
→ comment by funnyguy (#95) on September 15, 2003, Rated it 4

" A sperm whale with gigantism"??!!! pure genius!
→ comment by Maryam (#72) on August 23, 2004

Vorg — Tag Cloud

Written by vinny9
montrealimprov.com
Alive, for now.

Teaching improv classes in Montreal
vinny9's RSS feed
Latest Photo

[Dustin on instagram]

Quote of Now:
I, for one, am NOT canadian ... yet.[quote database]
Friends
Amir Niroumand
Best Dad Ever
Blue Apples
Blue Lotus Creative
BoingBoing
Carolyn Coles
Coherent Earth
Dave Olson
DinoCats
Dream Director
Dustin Sacks
Edcon
Educational videos on YouTube
Erin Levine
Father's Day Gifts
Find Your True Nature
Graydin
Healing from Inside
Hot Grog
Integrate Therapy
Intent Health
Joffrey
Kate Pocock
Kindara Fertility
Koobee Kids - fun learning videos
Lady Zenaida
Lantern Park
Lindsey Rogerson
Patrick Adams
Paw Pros
PEMF Solutions
Said the Gramophone
Shala Yoga
Sillysoft Games
The Travel Files
Popular Posts
Create a Custom Avatar
Drupal forums
EA Games Interview
Explosion Animations
Healthcare - USA vs Canada
Hedonics - happiness economics
How-To Make your own devil sticks
Koodo Mobile
Littlest Hobo
MySQL limit in MS-SQL
Selling on Amazon.com
Vancouver Bloggers
Computer Games
Lux Alliance Diplomacy Game
Lux Risk Game
Meowzers Action Cats
Mission Me app
Turtoa Global Rhythm

Hey You! Subscribe to vinny9's RSS feed.
Or get wider opinion in the Vorg All Author feed.