The weather today...

Here's my first submission. You can tell it's good because it has three periods after the title.

(Cut to weatherman standing in front of map of the USA.)

Weatherman:
Hello, and welcome back. I'm Weatherman McWeatherman, and this is the weather for the week. Tonight, a cold front will move into your house, causing tempartures in the low fourties.

(puts label on Michigan that says "Your House")

WM:
It will continue until Tuesday, when hurricane Willie will hit your backyard, here.

(puts label behind first label, it says "Your Backyard")

WM:
Willie is expected to cause sever damage to your dog.

(puts stuffed dog on Michigan, someone off camera barks and yips until the weatherman smacks the dog. it whimpers, then shuts up)

WM:
The areas of your dog expected to get hit worse are the limbs and tail.

(takes out pocket knife, chops off dogs limbs and tail while dog does a doggy-scream thing)

WM:
Wednesday is expected to bring sun, with highs in the 80's, but watch out for ants if you're going on a picnic, because according to leading opthomalogists, this is the biggest day of the season for ants. I had to postpone my plans, so I brought this homemade jelly to work!

(takes out open can of jelly and places it on dog, huge puppet-ant comes and starts eating the jelly while the dog screams)

WM:
Thursday will be around 60 degrees and partly cloudy, with a 10 percent chance of rain.

(ant leaves. nothing else happens.)

Dog:
phew!

WM:
Friday, look for highs in the mid- 70's, and watch for rock slides.

(rocks drop on dog while it makes more cute doggy noises of agony)

WM:
Saturday, look for highs in the upper 70's, with an 80 percent chance of evil Martians taking over the world.

(Martians walk on camera, take out probe thing, grin at each other, and take dog off stage while it screams)

WM:
And Sunday, we can look forward to clear skies, highs in the low 80's, and the Inspector sketch.

(cut to Inspector sketch, which may or may not be posted later)

Posted by TANK on July 27, 2003 with category tags of

9 comments
pretty decient. could use a little more work
   comment by brien (#76) on July 28, 2003, Rated it 3

What parts?
   comment by TANK (#89) on July 28, 2003

I like it. An alternative to WM physically doing the dog effects, they could be accomplished with a blue screen. I especially like the transition to the next skit.
   comment by Chronomorph (#11) on July 29, 2003, Rated it 4

When you wrote 'opthamologist', did you mean 'entomologist'?
   comment by Chronomorph (#11) on July 29, 2003

Nah, it's kinda a running gag in some of my skits to just mention opthalmolagists instead of any other kind of scientist or doctor. Besides, it's just a great word ^_^

And yeah, I prefer "linking" skits a la Python to just ending them.
   comment by TANK (#89) on July 29, 2003

Tis funny. I would add a line at the very beginning that was something a real weatherman would say. As a little bit of a lead-in to the craziness.

I go now to read the inspector sketch.
   comment by dustin (#1) on July 31, 2003, Rated it 4

Just stop, TANK.
   comment by funnyguy (#95) on September 15, 2003, Rated it 1

Of course, I want you to try again. Try harder by not trying at all. When I say "Just stop, TANK",
what I mean is, STOP TRYING SO HARD! I want
nothing more than for you to be the ace of spades.
   comment by funnyguy (#95) on September 16, 2003

poopfarts are awsome
   comment by poopfart on August 21, 2004, Rated it 1

   

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