BIRD IN A BAGBIRD IN A BAG
1. EXT. A TYPICAL BRITISH HIGH STREET. DAY.
GENERAL VIEW
High street CLOSE UP
A pigeon, pecking around the pavement.
Some one has finished eating their bagged burger lunch. As they get up from the bench and walk away they crumple up paper bag and throw it onto the street.
The pigeon still pecking wanders over to the bag and with the promise of left- over’s inside waddles in to the bag.
With the bird inside the bag now begins to mysteriously move along the street.
Most passers-by look on bemusedly, assuming it is the wind that is making the bag appear to move on its own.
Some school children start to play around, chasing the bag as the wind appears to be taking it in every direction.
This goes on a while until the children tire of their game. The bag continues to flutter about; all the while the bird is inside.
CLOSE UP On the bag.
Suddenly a large work boot comes down full force on the bag. The foot belongs to a conscientious council worker who when the bag is stilled picks it up with his special long grabbers and puts the bag into his wheel along bin.
END
11 comments Hey, pretty good! Although personally, I'd add a bit of blood when the council worker steps on the bag. | |
hee, hee. a bloody bird in a bag. | |
Am I missing something?
This is funny like a Grade 4 pounding the shit out of another is funny.
The lead-in was quite intriguing, which is why the ending is so disappointing.
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...the bag gets stomped on by some hippie vegan type who shouts "TAKE THAT, McDONALDS!" and mumbles about fast food killing innocent animals as he picks up the bag and tosses it into a trash can. | |
TANK, who are you? Your comments crack me up more than your skits. | |
Reveal thy self!
YES! Now, that's a funny skit. With that ending, supplied by the mystery writer there, your material has gone from a 2 to a 4. Okay, maybe a 3.5.
Keep up the work, a non i miss. | |
Yes, this ending at least gives the skit an ironic twist, a point if you will.
Otherwise, donut. | |
Sir Bryan, I would love to end this hunger I have by challenging you to a skit off. Show me yours, and I'll show you something I wrote when I was about fifteen . . . eons ago.
Otherwise, jelly donut.
p.s. Notice how I'm behaving. It was very hard not to rate again, I'll tell ya. | |
As that guy's anonymous, I'll be frank. That ending sucks horribly. I crap better comedy than that. Anyone could crap better comedy than. I mean, if they had my amazing talent of crapping concepts instead of digested food.
Maria, don't be swayed. Unique and funny is better than mass-produced and popular.
... Wow, I sound like funnyguy. | |
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