More insanity from the depths of my deranged mind.

Just a couple skits that I've got laying around...

[ Cut to christmas carolers. They're singing (badly) "Silent Night" except for Billy, who's singing "YMCA". ]

Billy:
It's fun to stay at the/ Y M C A/ it's-

Mr. Man:
Billy, what are you doing?

Billy:
Disco forever! Woo!

[ Billy starts dancing disco style, while "Stayin' Alive" plays in background and disco lights flash. Billy takes out a big gold chain, and twirls it around his head. ]

Billy:
Woo! Woo! Can you feel it? Woo!

Mr. Man:
Billy, we're singing christmas carols. I feel that what you are singing is inappropriate for this occasion. Besides, everyone hates disco.

Billy:
(Looking deranged) NO! You LOVE disco! EVERYONE LOVES DISCO! EVERYONE, DO YOU HEAR?

Mr. Man:
Now Billy, let's not become deranged. Instead, let's have a group hug!

Billy:
YOU! IT WAS YOU! (pointing at Mr. Man and frothing at the mouth)

Mr. Man:
What are you talking about?

Billy:
YOU KILLED THE VILLAGE PEOPLE! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE! DIE, DOG! (Billy attacks Mr. Man with a broken strobe light that he produced from thin air)

Mr. Man:
Alright, I confess! But you'll never catch me!

Billy:
Bah!

[ Billy smacks Mr. Man with the strobe light. Right before it hits, there is a "Batman" style caption thing that says "Mack mack mack!" Then we see Billy standing over Mr. Man, who is cringing ]

Billy:
Call me daddy!

Caption:
Disco Avenger!

Cut to newscaster.

Newsie:
And that's the preview of our film of the night, Disco Avenger. And we'll have the weather, right after this.

[ Cut to ocean. An announcer walks on-screen. ]

Announcer:
Are you tired of deodorants that smell like pine or mint, but still want a deodorant that will tell people "I'm manly! I kill grizzlies with my bare hands!"?

[ Holds up deodorant stick. ]

Announcer:
Then try new "PitStick" stick deodorant! Yes, "PitStick" is the only armpit-scented deodorant on the market! With it's revolutionary ingredient "sweat," "PitStick" makes you smell like a real man!

[ Sniffs pits. ]

Announcer:
*Sniff sniff* Aaah... natural armpit scent.

Caption:
PITSTICK. Smell like God intended you to.

Quick voice:
Also available, Pisscent, the new urine scented toilet-bowl cleaner!

Posted by TANK on August 1, 2003 with category tags of

10 comments
good. i like the way you combined the 2 skits.
   comment by anonymous on August 1, 2003, Rated it 4

The first one is top-notch, slightly absurd and lightningquick. Great!

Pitstick's basically just one joke, though, and I didn't find it funny.
   comment by anonymous on August 4, 2003, Rated it 4

I didn't care much for the pitstick section, but I think Billy was great, and maybe we shouyld see more of him.
   comment by anonymous on August 4, 2003, Rated it 4

I'm always suspicious of anonymous praise.

The first skit? It's absurd... so what? After the opening YMCA line, it goes completely haywire. You need to sit still long enough to insert a punch line.

Pitstick is toilet humour.
   comment by Bryan (#22) on August 5, 2003, Rated it 1

I despise punchlines.
   comment by TANK (#89) on August 6, 2003

Needs to be built up. The idea sounds decent: "Carolling is ruined by disco maniac." But it goes from "disco maniac ruins singing" to "disco maniac tries to catch murderer" in the blink of an eye. You didn't earn that kind of whip around. Maybe make Mr. Man say threatening things so that we know he could kill. Or have incriminating evidence on him.

The sweat commercial has a clever concept with a cute add-on at the end. Maybe replace "With it's revolutionary ingredient 'sweat'" with "Using genuine human sweat culled from our manmusk-factory," or some such nonsense. I find the idea of sweat being harvested funnier than the contrast of "revolutionary "and "sweat". But that's just me and a quick suggestion you should feel free to ignore.
   comment by vinny9 (#33) on August 6, 2003, Rated it 2

I never quite liked the random transition of Mr. Man from "overly nice counselor-type" to "psychotic murderer," and I've been meaning to re-write that. One of these days I'll get to that.

As for the sweat-harvesting idea, I like it, but it's too similiar to the grease-harvesting bit from "Kentucky Fried Movie."
   comment by TANK (#89) on August 7, 2003

The disco fever dude had me smiling at the beginning. After all everyone DOES like disco. But once he started fighting I didn't like it. But it could cut to the TV guy at any time, so, ... yeah.

I thought that the PitStick was good. Short, sweet, and smelly.
   comment by dustin (#1) on August 11, 2003, Rated it 4

I'm sorry, people. Sorry you all have been brainwashed . . . no, brainbleached by TV, refried humor and anything REEKING of disco. And I LOVE silly. This just smells.

TANK (appropriate, thus far) your homework tonight and every night for the next two weeks is to light some scented candles, pour a mug of red wine and write a simple "funny" skit - only to be shredded at the end of the aforementioned term. Then on the following evening, submit a gem of a skit that WILL fall from the sky onto your lap like a rubber chicken from some unknown, unameable resource in whom you shall pray to during this necessary ritual. Embrace this deity of slapstick.
Or just keep submitting this crap. Ta, ta!
   comment by funnyguy (#95) on September 15, 2003, Rated it 1

You realize that when I say, "crap", I'm saying it not as a stranger to another complete stranger, but as a buddy to another cyber-buddy.

I await your next masterpiece.
   comment by funnyguy (#95) on September 17, 2003

   

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