Totally Random HumorI wasn't gonna post this, but in light of criticism on my skits being too random, I thought it would be appropriately ironic. Or something.
[ scene: a bar, of course ]
[ A nun and the duck enter the bar, which is empty except for the bartender. They approach the bar. ]
Duck: Bartender, two beers.
Bartender: Sure. what kind?
Duck: Raw fish. Shaken, not stirred. And my friend here will have a dead platypus.
BT: Dead whatapus?
Duck: PLATYPUS! A small mammal, the duckbilled platypus is one of only two mammals that lay eggs. The platypus..
BT: (interrupting) Uh, we don't have any of them.
Nun: Do I have any lines?
Duck: (checking script) No. Sorry.
Nun: Psh. **** this, then.
[ nun leaves ]
Duck: Uh, yeah.
[ the bartender coughs loudly, making the duck jump ]
Duck: Um... (glances at script) Nevermind about the platypus, just gimme some fish.
[ The bartender reaches behind the bar, grabs a fish, and throws it at the duck. ]
BT: WE DON'T SERVE DUCKS!
Narrator: Yes, it was another normal day for Howard D. Duck, professional duck. However, that was all about to change...
[ Duck explodes. ]
BT: Yuck, not again! Stupid exploding waterfowl!
[ Cut to a man standing in front of a generic logo ]
Man: Are YOU plagued with exploding waterfowl? What about fiery buttweasels? Or omnipotent green guys named Wally (ponders last line with a "what the hell?" kinda expression)? We here at Waterfowl, Weasels, and Wally, TM, can help.
[ Man from off-screen pushes first man away. ]
2nd Man: Yes, we here at Waterfowl, Weasels, and Wally, TM, have over SIX MINUTES of combined experience-
[ 1st man punches 2nd man in the stomach, 2nd man crawls off screen. ]
1st Man: Over 16 YEARS of combined experience at ridding the world of the letter W.
[ Cut to the set of Sesame Street. ]
Elmo: This episode of sesame street is brought to you by: the letter W!
Superimposed caption: W.
[ 1st and second man, along with the BT, the Nun, and the Duck, rush out and brutally destroy the set and cast. The Nun notices the camera with W on it, and throws Elmo's head at the camera, knocking it over. Scene switches to the president giving a speech. ]
Dubya: The Democrats treat Social Security like its some kind of federal program!
[ 16 ton weight drops on Bush. ]
[ Picture of letter read in John Cleese-style voice ]
Cleese: Dear sirs, I object, in the strongest possible terms, to the obvious theft of Monty Python's 16 ton weight-
[ Terry Gilliam style samurai, with a crossed out W on his chest, cuts through the letter, while the reader continues. ]
Cleese: I mean, what if I were to steal your gags? If you bloody HAD any. Stupid whippersnapper comedy sketch acts... grrr...
[ Film of Gumbys saying "And now-" ]
[cut to the newt sketch, which may be posted later, if I ever finish it ]
15 comments Replace "ironic" with "apt" in your preface and you'd be right.
I guess it's frenetic non-sequitors taken to the logical conclusion but it's just not the kind of comedy I like. Sorry. I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who might find it funny, though. Just don't count me as one of them.
Manic energy is good. Out of control is bad. This is out of control. | | |
Non Sequitor = Good
Not Funny = Bad
TANK, for the love of all things sacred and deemed
worthy of viewer consumption, STOP.
I believe you have a sense of humor. Witty, even.
Do us a favor . . . write without trying to be witty
or funny, even. It's a ZEN task, but I am willing to bet, you have the resources within.
Here's a set up: Two benedictine monks, who have
sworn to a list of vows including silence, bunk in the same humble room at a monestary. One day, after morning prayer, one of the monks does the favor of washing the sheets of both bunks. Much to his surprise, he finds a pair of pink, polka-dotted thong (bikini) underwear.
Now, run with it! | | |
The guy said "Are you tired of exploding waterfowl?"
The nun was funny, the exploding duck was also funny.
I would be in favour of you rewriting the end so that it links to, or deals with, the exploding waterfowl.
And please keep posting. | | |
Okay, I agree, damn it. The exploding waterfowl made me smirk, and the useless nun made me
smile. They deserve a (3), but that's it! Don't try and haggle more from me. | | |
Take no prisonners. We don't have space in this world for wannabes. The Art of Comedic Writing has become a free-for-all in this modern world.
Everyone wants to be on the Comedy Channel.
Everyone wants to be the next FUNNYGUY.
Well, let me tell you, my boy. It's an up hill
food fight and very few know how to bake a pie.
And I'm not interested with whipcream filled
aluminum tins. Give me substance!
All I'm really saying is . . . KEEP WRITING, AND
DON'T BE AFRAID TO KILL YOUR PUPPIES! | | |
I just wanted to echo the "please keep posting" sentiment.
Just because I don't like something you wrote:
1) It doesn't mean you should stop.
2) It doesn't mean that what you did write has no merit.
3) It doesn't mean you can't learn from constructive criticism.
Hell, if I stopped writing after something I wrote was terrible, I'd have stopped after the first piece of writing I excreted into the world. | | |
Come on, people. Thicken the skin. Believe me,
it's a prickly world out there full of slammed doors.
I praise this site for it's open forum structure.
Bastards, like me, can sift through this 'new' material for production value. It's the gentle souls like yourselves that create such marvelous work. And we all need a good laugh. So lighten up, and yes . . .yes, keep submitting. | | |
Funnyguy--please, I beg of you! Stop rating the same skits more than once. (exhibit A exhibit B)
Thanks! | | |
As I stated to you before, Sir Bryan, in,
'Thanks For Not Lettering':
"Damn it! Am I not playing the game right?
An associate turned me on to this lovely
site, and I just can't stop myself. Always
on the lookout for fresh material and/or
potential, comic writers. Thanks for the tender
guidance, though. Will be checking yours out
very soon!"
Beg no more. I vow to not disrupt your precious
and orderly universe.
Now, wait your turn! | | |
I liked "that was about to change ... [explode]"
and I really liked the monty python rip-off bit.
Perhaps you should post your thoughts in smaller chunks? That way it would be easier to separate the gold from the gaff (what's gaff?). | | |
| that was written by dustin | | |
| MAN! I keep screwing things up here at SillyTech.com. If my (gaffs) aren't cutting off at length, then they're taking up way too much space. And then I go and overrate individuals in all my excitement. Dustin. Will I ever get it right? | | |
As an anarchist I tell you to do whatever you want. In an open community the only rules are the ones that people decide to follow.
Everyone judges good and bad differently of course. I will admit that I have rated skits more then once on occasion, although not so gregariously as yourself (tee hee).
Yeah, so, keep the wack coming... | | |
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