Uping The AnteThis is fun!
A MAN is kneeling behind a WOMAN. She is on her hands and knees facing forward. They are both on a bed and presumably naked. The man is trying to open a condom.
Man: I’m sorry . . . I can’t seem to open it.
Woman: Here, let me try. I have nails.
The woman ends up ripping it open with her teeth. She spits out a piece. Her expression reflects her obvious distaste.
Woman: Ooo, spermicide. (Sarcastically) Yummy.
The man tries rolling it on.
Man: Does it go on this way? No. (Embarrassed laugh) I really can’t tell. (Excited) Okay, there it goes. Oh, wow, it’s . . . green. Neon green!
Woman: Who cares!
The man begins thrusting from behind. He is staring up at the ceiling, concentrating, like he’s trying to hear something. The woman is waiting.
Man: That’s . . . really strange.
Woman: Is it on yet?
Man: I can’t feel a thing.
Woman: What’s that smell?
Man: It smells like burning tires?
Woman: Oh, my God. Pull out!
An ANNOUNCER in a tuxedo walks into the room, standing in front of the bed to address viewers at home.
Announcer: Has this ever happened to you? Not exactly romantic is it? Wrappers that won’t open. The latex is too thick, and it fits like an extra small glove or an oversized hat. Too much spermicide or not enough lubricant. By the time you get it on it almost feels too late to GET IT ON. I have your solution right here. (Holds up EMPTY zip lock bag) The Emperor’s Nude Condoms, by (mumbles name). One size fits all, and they adapt to any environment, moist or arid. So thin, you’ll think they’re invisible, and each one has been pre-opened and hermetically sealed into these air tight packaging units for your convenience. But don’t waste any more Q-T listening to me. (Hands man a bag) Go ahead. Slide one on. (Man does) Easy, huh. And these condoms can last for hours, multiple uses.
Man: Oh, my God. I can feel you. I can . . .
The man has an orgasm.
Woman: You’re kidding me, right?
Announcer: The Emperor’s Nude Condoms. Not only can you feel the difference (holds up the zip lock) . . . you can see the difference.
13 comments | The beginning is odd, but I like's it once the invisible condoms come out. I think it would be appropriate to add some incredibly quick voice at the end disclaiming all liability for any STDs and/or preggers that may result. | | |
The premise is a good one and Dustin's suggetion is equally good. The problem with this one is that the setup takes wayyyy too long and isn't funny in and of itself. Drop the into to about half-length and imply the problems with the regular condom. Maybe have two guys complaining about condoms? "Show, don't tell" applies here.
| | |
vinny9! Ya, think? Read it again. Pretend you don't know it's a (fake) commercial. Just a skit. Use your own experience with condoms (I'm guessing, here). The sights. The smells. Maybe
it's a one night stand. Maybe it's a couple of teenagers. Allow yourself to be uncomfortable with the set up. Awkward is good. Relate with the man (or woman). Oh, no. I've said too much.
Like you stated recently, explaining a joke feels digressive. Anyway, (grinning) you're back! | | |
| Maybe it's just me, but I don't find this one very good. The jokes weren't really outlandish enough to make me laugh, no matter how true they were. ^_- | | |
You know what makes this ten times funnier to me? Have the dialogue stay the same but all you see is a closed door and you're hearing the conversation alone. The mind makes everything else up and the dialogue makes it pretty clear what's going on.
Then the narrator can step onstage in front of the door. Maybe a hand can reach out from behind the door and grab the baggie.
That would really make this skit fly for me. | | |
Please. Write a blog telling us all
what you think is funny.
TANK's Top Ten Tantalizing Tidbits
I wait, drooling. | | |
WE HAVE A WINNER, FOLKS.
Dear vinny9,
You are on your way to having a
successful career as one of a dozen,
faceless writers on the next big sit-com.
Don't forget about us here at SillyTech.com
p.s. Hope you like smog. | | |
I like Vinny's suggestions. The last thing I wanna see is someone "thrusting."
Cheese packages are difficult to open. I don't see anyone writing about that.
Also, "Emperor's *New* Condoms". | | |
Funnydude,
I don't mean to bring you down but the scene is SO explicit that it got in the way on my enjoying the humour. However, let me know if anyone is performing this skit... | | |
| fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina fuck sex penis vagina | | |
|
|
|
|
Vorg — Tag Cloud
Written by funnyguy Latest PhotoQuote of Now:FriendsPopular PostsComputer Games
|
