another sketch
Feedback?Below deck on a Roman ship
4 Slaves are on oars-two pairs front and back.
Behind is a drummer keeping rowing beat.
The 4 are rowing in silence for a while.
Slave 1: Anybody hear the final score on that Christians versus lions game?
(his oar partner-Slave 2 glares over at Slave 1 then foreward)
(silence for a bit)
Slave 1: The Christians never do very well. But I always cheer for them!
(Slave 2 looks over again-mean)
(silence again for a bit)
Slave 1: Oh Boy! Are we having gruel again for dinner? Yummmm!
(Slave 2 drops the oar and starts choking Slave 1)
(The guard comes over and starts whipping both of them-Slave 2 lets go)
Guard: What’s going on here?
Slave 2: He was choking. I was trying to help!
Guard: Well he seems all right now. Back to work!
(They row in silence)
Slave 1: It seems like the guards whip isn’t as painful as it used to be.(pause) Maybe the leather’s softening up, huh? Heh, heh.
(Slave 2 looks over—mad)
(silence)
Slave 1 (starts chant): Here we go Caesar, Here we go!
Here we go Caesar, here we go!
(Slave 2 attacks again, punching him)
(Guard runs over and starts whipping-Slave 2 backs off)
Guard: What’s going on here?
Slave 2: He had a rat on his head. I was trying to kill it!
Guard: Back to work!
(Silence)
Slave 1: Thanks for trying to kill that rat—
Slave 2: Listen buddy, there wasn’t any rat! I was trying to beat your face in! You’re always happy. Always happy! We’re god damn slaves. Our life sucks!
Slave 1: I don’t think it’s so bad. My momma said to always look to the sunny side of life.
(Slave 3 leans foreward putting his head between them)
Slave 3: That’s a nice way of thinking.
Slave 1(smiles, glancing back): Um hmmmm.
Slave 2: The sunny side of life. From the hold of a ship?
(Slave 3 leans foreward again)
Slave 3: He’s got a point.
Slave 1: No, It’s more in how you look at things. Seeing the bright side. Y’know?
Slave 2: So what’s the bright side?
Slave 1: We’re here together rowing. Think of the cardiovascular benefits!
Slave 3(leaning): That’s true!
Slave 1: Or you could be a leper.
Slave 4(leaning foreward): Ooooo. Lepers. Yuck!
Slave 3(leans): Did you hear about the tough guy leper who kept saying, “You want a piece of me?”
(they all laugh)
Slave 1: That’s the spirit! Don’t you feel better already?
Slave 3 and 4: Yeah!
(they all look a slave 2)
Slave 2: I guess so.
Drum guy(yelling): Ramming speed! (starts beating drum faster)
Slave 1: Here we go Caesar, Here we go!
(the others join in, slave 2 reluctantly)
All
Here we go Caesar, here we go!
Here we go Caesar, here we go!
Fade out
| Posted by larrylorre on October 10, 2003 with category tags of Skit |
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Written by larrylorre
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