Spoof of Lawyer Commercials

Here's a skit about those obnoxious 1-800-LAWYER commercials.

(UP ON LAWYER'S OFFICE)

(LAWYER FACES CAMERA)

LAWYER: Have you been injured in an accident? Were you wrongly dismissed from your job? Or are you just pissed off about global warming?

Then you need -- A-Hole & A-Hole.

Let's face it, the world sucks. The people that you're seeking judgement against are going to have the best A-Holes money can buy. Isn't it time you had a A-Hole on your side?

We'll work diligently to get you the best settlement possible. It's not worth our time unless you collect. After all, we're getting at least one third of your settlement. Just listen to one of our satisfied clients!

(UP ON: MAN)

MAN: When I took a prescription drug to recapture my sexual vigor, my penis fell off. A-Hole & A-Hole saved my life. They not only got the pharmaceutical company to pay for the operation to reattach my penis, they also got me a seven figure settlement! Thanks A-Hole & A-Hole! You're the best!

(UP ON: LAWYER)

LAWYER: Remember, only A-Holes succeed! When you want your rights defended and the best settlement possible, you need A-Hole & A-Hole.

Call now, 1-800-A**-HOLE.

(PHONE NUMBER FLASHES ON SCREEN)

That's 1-800-A**-HOLE.

(PHONE NUMBER FLASHES ON SCREEN)

Call now -- our minimum wage operators are standing by 24 hours a day. We pay them slave wages so that we don't have to overbill you, the client.

Remember, call 1-800-A**-HOLE.

(PHONE NUMBER FLASHES ON SCREEN)

Isn't it time you have an A-Hole on your side?

Posted by BillyZee on November 3, 2003 with category tags of Skit

8 comments

Where's the surprise! Sorry, I just don't see any laughs here. How about the lawyer petting a kitty? Or he has a baby on his lap and dumps it to put his hand on a bible, or something. With surprise comes laughs.
→ comment by anonymous on November 5, 2003, Rated it 2

Work on it a bit, though. Maybe add one or two more satisfied customers, or something.
→ comment by TANK (#89) on November 6, 2003, Rated it 3

You should show us why being an A-Hole can get you a good settlement. Cut to a courtroom scene or something.

There's nothing here that sets this skit apart from other lawyer commercial parodies.
→ comment by Bryan (#22) on November 6, 2003

A-hole is funny here and there but writing a whole (pun intended) ad around the joke isn't funny. Maybe Alfred Hole and Adam Hole & Assoc. Then a shot of their door "A. Hole & A. Hole & Assoc."

But that would only be the first joke. You need more.
→ comment by vinny9 (#33) on November 6, 2003, Rated it 2

I liked the satisfied customer's speech. The slave wages line is also good. Vinny's 'Alfred Hole and Adam Hole & Assoc.' suggestion would improve it as well. Then there are actual human faces behind the a-holes.
→ comment by dustin (#1) on November 9, 2003, Rated it 4

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