Another Oldy
This skit idea is two years old, and they've kept the conflict going long enough for it to still be pertinent! Bless those crazy people in the Middle East![Scene: two men in a broadcast booth which apparently looks over an arena.]
JACK: Good evening everyone, and welcome to Jerusalem. I’m Jack McGraw, along with Dan McGrew, and we’re bringing you live coverage of Olympic qualifying ice hockey. Tonight’s match-up features two up and coming teams, Israel and Palestine. These teams have quite a rivalry, don’t they, Dan?
DAN: They certainly do, Jack. It stretches back to 1948, when Israel first crushed the Palestinians, in the Spengler Cup tournament in Lake Placid.
JACK: They didn’t play against each other again until 1967, isn’t that right?
DAN: That’s right, Jack. The 1967 Israeli occupation of the West Bank and Gaza Strip might be called “The Disaster” by Yasser Arafat, but it gave a big boost to the Palestinian hockey program.
JACK: And yet, the Israeli side has a definite advantage over the years, wouldn’t you say, Dan?
DAN: That’s true, Jack. The record so far between these teams in international competition has been 75 wins for Israel, zero wins for Palestine, and 1 tie, which came in 1970. However, many of the games have been extremely close, with most of Israel’s wins resulting from shootouts.
JACK: It looks like we’re just about underway here in the World Attention Centre in Jerusalem. The referee is approaching centre ice to drop the puck… and the game is underway! Palestine wins the face-off. Abu Hasen passes to Abu Rahim, who dumps it into the Israeli zone. It’s picked up by Benmergui, who passes it to Benazon… Pass intercepted by Palestine! Abu Husseyn shoots… Scores!
[We hear booing; Vengaboys plays over the public address system]
DAN: That’s a characteristic quick start for Palestine. Their offence is best with surprise. When they can sneak into the Israeli zone, their attack can be explosive.
JACK: It’s one-to-nothing for Palestine after only one minute twenty gone in the first period. Play starts again as the puck is dropped at centre ice. This time, Israel wins the face-off. Benguiron skates into the Palestinian zone. He’s checked by two Palestinian defenders, and gives up the puck. Abu Ladin makes a long pass to Abu Bakr, who fakes a pass, shoots, and scores!
[More booing, a different Vengaboys song]
DAN: That’s a costly mistake by Israel. They extended too far into Palestinian territory, which left them weakly defended in their own zone. Now they’re down two-nothing after only two minutes of play.
JACK: The Israeli coach is motioning to the referee to come over. He’s handing a note to the ref… Now the referee is making a signal. Israel has declared a curfew! The Palestinians are being shunted off the ice. The score is two to nothing Palestine with 17:59 left to go in the first period. The referee drops the puck at centre ice. Israel wins the face-off. They skate into the Palestinian zone. Benben shoots… and scores into the empty net!
[Cheering, Vengaboys]
DAN: That was a great strategic move by Israel to impose a curfew. With no Palestinians on the ice, it allowed Israel to skate unopposed into the Palestinian zone and score.
JACK: Play begins again, as the puck is dropped. Israel wins the face-off. Benaflek shoots from 130 feet out- and scores!
[Cheering, Right Said Fred]
DAN: Israel has impressive firepower. No other team in the Middle East Pool has as much offensive capability as Israel.
JACK: Just a reminder, immediately after this game, we’ll be bringing you the much-anticipated Saudi Arabia-Afghanistan women’s hockey Olympic qualifier. We’ll be back with more from the Israeli-Palestinian hockey game in just a moment.
| Posted by chrisdye on November 30, 2003 with category tags of Skit |
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Written by chrisdye
| Chris Dye |
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