Leave it to the Beav!
Check for wacky stuff!Announcer
Those punk rockers of the 80’s are all grown up now with kids of their own. Let’s join them at the trailer park for this weeks episode of “Leave it to Pussy”.
Crunching guitar to the tune of “Leave it to Beaver”
Scene opens on 2 punk parents in room. He’s in chair, Moon’s bringing him a beer.
Moon
You were a little hard on the Pussy last night, Wad!
Wad
He deserved it. You know he got caught stealing a car yesterday night. How many times have I told him—Don’t steal cars until after midnight! Too many people still up.
Moon
Yeah, and he’s only got so many productive years left before he’s sent up as an adult to do hard time.
Wad
That’s what I told him between kicks!
Moon(disappointed)
You never beat me anymore Wad!
Wad
That’s cuz you like it too much.
She laughs and wiggles her tongue at him.
Moon(calling)
Pussy! The can’s open. C’mon and eat before I throw it out!
Pussy enters(skuzzy looking kid)
Yo, Wuzzup
Wad
Listen to him, talking like that around here.(pause) Acting like he’s got an education or somethin’ (to Pussy) You’re no smarter than me, so don’t act like it!
Pussy
Whatever Asshole(sits at table)
Wad
That’s better!
Wally and Eddie Characters enter
Eddie(looking around)
What a bunch of sorry looking scumbags. (To Moon) Except you sweet cheeks(smacks her on the ass)
Moon(smiles)
You’re a smooth one Eddie
Wad(to Eddie)
Hands off peckerhead. Unless you want to end up in the woodchipper!
Eddie(shrugs)
Try to give a compliment.
Wad(checks watch)
Hey! Jerry Springer’s on. You shits get out and let us have some quality time.
Moon
I love seeing how the other half lives.
Fade out and in on the three boys
Wally
--and then we’ll tape a garbage bag over his head and throw him in the river!
Pussy(laughing)
That sounds like fun!
Eddie
Must you two always personify the role society has pigeonholed you in?
Wally
Huh?
Pussy
What’s he sayin’ Wally?
Wally
I don’t know Pussy!
Eddie
Simply put, it’s that with parents such as yours, you would be expected to grow up as wastrels, and that your deviation from the norm is understandable on all counts.
Wally
I don’t know what he’s sayin’ Pussy, but let’s beat the shit out of him(he punches Eddie who doubles over and falls)
Pussy(smiling)
Gee Wally!(starts to kick the down Eddie)
Fade out
Announcer
Join us next week, with special guest star Tori Spelling for the episode entitled “Wally gets some school play”
| Posted by larrylorre on January 16, 2004 with category tags of Skit |
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Written by larrylorre
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