Watashi no David Stensilson
Transcend the barriers of language.[N.B.: This skit is entirely in Japanese. The audience is not supposed to understand the dialogue. Preferably there would be two or three (perhaps Asian?) people planted in the audience who laugh at certain lines.]
[Scene: A posh restaurant. Two people (W, M1) are sitting at one table reading menus. There is an empty table next to them. We can see both tables the entire time. A waiter seats a well dressed man (M2) at this table, and the couple at the first table starts talking in loud whispers, obviously gossiping about the man who seems to be important/famous. They try to discreetly peer at him from behind their menus.]
W: Ano otoko no hito wa “David Stensilson” deska?
[Laughter]
M1: Hai, sodesne…watashi no gakoubango wa kyugonanasam des.
W: Choto matte, kudasai. “New York” nani o hoshi deska?
M1: Ketchupoga arimaska?
W: Iie, arimasen. Nihon ryori no restoranto desyo.
M1: Ahso. Wasabi o kudasai.
W: Totemo karai desyo.
[We see the Waiter off at the side. A man dressed identically comes up behind him and clubs him. He then assumes the role of the Waiter. He has a tray with a single glass of wine, into which he pours something. He brings it to the well dressed man.]
W: Oishides. Totemo oishides.
[Laughter]
M1: Hontoni?
[W and M1 seem to be arguing. Their discussion becomes progressively more heated. M2 takes a sip of the wine and has a strange look on his face. He twitches a little bit.]
W: Bokuwa itsumo tabemono o ketchupu to tabemas.
M1: Tostomo?
W: Hai. Totemo oishides!
M1: Totemo mazuides. Kyoukijimitades.
[W and M1 are at this point yelling forcefully and are completely oblivious to the fact that M2 has started to go into convulsions.]
W: Fushinsetsu! Watashi no haha wa segatakaidesyo!
M1: Baka! Otosan ga suzushinakatandeskara!
[W is so angry that she stands up and stalks out. M2 falls in convulsions on the floor. M1 fails to notice and broods at the table alone.]
FIN
| Posted by alice on March 9, 2003 with category tags of Skit |
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Written by alice
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