There's nothing like a little cocaine to spice things up...

[The scene starts with a guy in the hall of a house. He is about to go outside.]

[Man putting on winter clothes. Happy music playing as a soundtrack]
[Man walks outside, he is very happy, on his happy winter walk]

Scene 2
[Forest setting. Man is happy]
[Man walks on. Passes a big rock.]
Man: Hello Mr. Rock
[Bird chirping]
Man: Hello Mr. Bird
[Man walks on. Passes a tree.]
Man: Hello Mr. Tree
[Man walks on. Passes two people having sex]
Man: Hello two people having sex!
[Man walks on. Passes a wooden chair sitting in the middle of the forest with a pile of white powder on it]
Man: Hello Mr. Cocaine.
[Man walks on. Stops. Turns around, checks to see if anyone is watching.]
[Man walks nonchalantly back to the chair. Snorts Cocaine.]

[Close up on face. Eyes wide, Face Shaking, Foam coming out of his mouth. Hold on close-up for a few secs]
[Man turns around and starts to madly run back from whence he came]

[Man passes two people having sex.]
Man: Hello two people having sex!
[Runs up behind them. Two people having sex do not notice. Man sprays them with fire extinguisher that just happens to be lying beside them in case of fire during sex. (it should be sitting next to a sign that says 'In Case Of Fire')]
[Man runs away from whence he came]
[Man passes tree]
Man: Hello Mr. Tree.
[Man pulls out chainsaw that just happens to be lying beside tree in case of fire (yes there is a sign.)
[The man continues, kills the bird, pounds on the rock for a sec, then he sits down on the rock (he's very tired)]
man: "Whew, cocaine's more tiring than I thought! ... I think I'm going to have a little rest."
[man lies down on the rock and falls asleep]

Posted by impro on May 30, 2002 with category tags of

This is pretty funny, but it needs a better ending. Maybe a big pile of cocaine should consume him and beat him to death. Now that's funny!
   comment by Sarah (#5) on June 1, 2002, Rated it 4

i agree with sarah-needs better ending. fire signs are funny
   comment by anonymous on June 4, 2002, Rated it 3

Hmm... Must be an "in-joke". Still, you gotta love cocaine-induced wackiness.
   comment by Chronomorph (#11) on March 5, 2003, Rated it 2

Since when do you fall asleep on cocaine?
   comment by anonymous on August 26, 2003, Rated it 2

Okay, I just want to make it very clear that if there's a pile of white powder sitting on a chair in the woods, chances are it's bad for you. It's probably not cocaine. Secondly, if this furry fool just got a huge ass bump in his nosie he probably won't go on a killing rampage. (Unless it was cut with like angel dust or something that makes you trip.) Hell, instead of killing the people having sex, he may ask to join in. But he sure as shit wouldnt fall asleep 20 minutes later. Coke gives you energy! It's a stimulant like meth or speed, not a sedating high like pot or antipsychotics. YOU LIE! YOU ARE WRONG AND UNINFORMED! Thank you for your time.
   comment by anonymous on November 4, 2003, Rated it 1

   comment by anonymous on November 23, 2003, Rated it 5

   comment by anonymous on December 5, 2003, Rated it 1

i agree with the others - you definitely wouldn't fall asleep doing coke
   comment by amb on October 30, 2004, Rated it 2

I read that and just because you happen to be entirely comprised of cocaine doesn't mean that people should be allowed to just come up and snort you. And as for people that are trees, birds, etc. That's just nonsense. Everyone knows people can't be trees. This defence goes out to all my peeps who THROUGH NO FAULT OF THEIR OWN happen to be made entirely of cocaine. I got your backs.
   comment by trckands (#152) on January 2, 2005

well,first of cocaine is nothing to joke about or make fun of,its an horrible addiction and true like another commenter said it dont make you want to kill people unless its cut with something.the drug makes you do stupied and crazy ass shit that you would never imagine in your life doing!and its a horrible addiction to have and even harder to come off of belive me i know!im trying to come clean of this myself and its no fun at all!!!and the only time i ended up in the woods from doing coke was running from the cops and snorting the last i had before i got caught with it!!! so no offence or anything but cocaine is no joking matter!!thanks for your time chantil from north carliona.
   comment by chantil on January 23, 2005, Rated it 1

this is soooo stupid
who falls asleep doing flake??
   comment by anonymous on May 8, 2007, Rated it 1


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