Feeling skittish?
Gil gets interviewed. He thinks.The Interview
[Samuel sits at a desk sorting papers in his office in a shirt and tie. Behind him sits a raffle barrel, the kind that spins and has a small door on the side for putting in names or tickets. Gil enters the office wearing a business suit and hat.]
Gil: Hello?
Samuel: Come in! Come in!
Gil: This is the Charlotte Agency, right?
Samuel: The very one! Samuel Charlotte, at your service! [points to chair] Please make yourself comfortable.
G: Thanks.
S: Well, let's get down to it. You can start by filling out this form.
[S hands G a small slip of paper about the size of a business card. G takes it from S. S starts to fill a form on his desk.]
G: Um...
S: [looks up from form] Yes?
G: Nothing.
S: [smiling broadly] S'allright! S'allright!
[G takes out a pen and fills it in. It takes about 5 seconds.]
G: [holds out paper] Uh, here.
[S takes the paper.]
S: [reading] Gil Gardner. [looks up] Great! [puts paper in the raffle barrel]
G: That was the correct form, right?
S: Oh, absolutely! Absolutely!
G: So it was only supposed to ask my name?
S: Well, now. Well, now. The second half of the interview does the rest.
G: Ah. Good.
S: Right then. Right then. Let's begin.
[S takes a new form from out of a drawer and looks at it.]
S: Oh damn.
[S starts rifling through the raffle barrel]
S: I've forgotten your name.
G: It's --
[S pulls out random name.]
S: Are you... [reading] Wang-Si Mah?
G: I'm Gil Gardner, sir.
S: That's it. Gil Gardner. Excellent. [puts paper back] Good memory. I like that. I like that.
[G shifts uncomfortably. S start filling in the form he took out of the drawer in silence. S looks up occasionally at G, eyeing him. G sits up straight. S shakes his head and fills something out on the form. This repeats a couple of times, each time S eyeing G, shaking his head and filling in the form.]
S: [filling in form] No, definitely not.
G: Not what, sir?
[S acts as though he hasn't heard the question. S looks at form again and looks up, speculatively.]
S: Not a chance.
G: Sir?
[S returns to the form.]
G: Has the interview begun?
S: Hm? [looks up] Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Almost done. [returns to form]
G: If you have any questions for me, I'd be glad to answer them.
S: [doesn't look up] Yes, answers. Answers. Hmm. [looks up] Hah! [speaks to form] This one? Not bloody likely! Ha ha! [fills in more of the form]
G: Sir, if I could --
S: Done!
G: Done?
S: Oh, wait. Almost forgot. [scribbles on form and says out loud as he writes it out] Good memory.
G: So, how did I fare?
S: Can't say. Can't say. [gets up and offers hand] You'll be getting a letter one way or another.
G: [gets up and shakes hand] Well, thanks for your time.
S: Not at all. Not at all.
[After G has left S turns to raffle barrel and spins it idly.]
| Posted by vinny9 on October 23, 2002 with category tags of Skit |
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Written by vinny9
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