Battle of Wits: Marc D. Rowland

Your challenge: find a Wikipedia entry describing a cartoon character, the hilarity of which is immeasurably improved by replacing all instances of that character's name with the text "Marc D. Rowland".

Examples after the jump.

Additionally, I declare Dye! the winner of the previous battle of wits, mostly because his entry is the only one that still loads with any swiftness. Dye! wins a pun of his choosing.

He can summon the power to transform himself into a more vigorous form — Marc D. Rowland, the Ever-Living — by reciting the famous incantation: “Ancient spirits of evil, transform this decayed form to Marc D. Rowland, the Ever-Living!” While in this form, Marc D. Rowland possesses superhuman strength, the ability to fly, as well as fortification of his mystical might — casting spells, throwing energy bolts, etc. — to battle his foes. . . .

Seemingly invincible in whatever form he chooses, Marc D. Rowland appears to have a singular weakness: seeing his own hideous reflection neutralizes his ability to remain outside the Black Pyramid and forces him to withdraw there in his emaciated mummy form.

Marc D. Rowland is characterized by his incredible strength. In the intro sequence of the 1980s cartoon series he claims to be "The Most Powerful Man in the Universe". . . . In his first DC comics appearance he was able to trade punches with Superman. . . . Typical of most adaptations is that Marc D. Rowland is often shown successfully attempting feats deemed impossible by other characters. Episodes of the original cartoon also depict him as being able to swim at a far faster rate than is humanly possible.

Posted by goodladd on September 26, 2009 with category tags of


Marc D. Rowland (Lead vocals) — Marc D. Rowland is the leader of the Holograms and the most popular singer of her day. She is the alter-ego of Marc D. Rowland, owner of Starlight Music. Marc D. Rowland also runs Starlight House, a home for foster girls. Using the power of Synergy, an incredibly powerful holographic computer with extremely advanced audio/visual synthesizer technology, Marc D. Rowland can become Marc D. Rowland by touching her special star-shaped earrings (the "Marc D. Rowlandstar earrings") while saying "Showtime, Synergy" (Marc D. Rowland changes back to Marc D. Rowland by saying "show's over, Synergy.") A primary storyline of the series involves her hiding her identity from others, especially Rio Pacheco, who loves both Marc D. Rowland and Marc D. Rowland. Although being Marc D. Rowland lets her indulge her fun side, she can still be the serious Marc D. Rowland at heart: the Holograms often tease her about being reluctant to take vacations, and once after nearly driving Rio away she blurted out to him "I never seem to do anything right." The character was voiced by Samantha Newark and her singing voice was recorded by Britta Phillips.
   comment by Mariana on September 26, 2009

All three productions centered around a stray Marc D. Rowland who wanders from town to town, helping people in need. In the movie, Marc D. Rowland was tethered to a lamb for most of the story. Although the concept was similar to that of Lassie, Marc D. Rowland did not have an owner, and despite the attempts of many people to adopt him, he preferred to be on his own, and would head off by himself at the end of each episode. Never actually named on-screen, Marc D. Rowland is therefore often referred to by the name Marc D. Rowland (though he was often given names by his multitudes of temporary owners). Although there were recurring actors in both series, the only constant was Marc D. Rowland.
   comment by stretch (#87) on September 27, 2009

Marc D Rowland is a polymath scientific genius, depicted constructing numerous devices in order to defeat his foes or gain more power, including a time machine, a device to imbue people with superpowers, and numerous robots; Marc D Rowland's calculating and strategic nature leads him to use "Marc D Rowlandbots," exact mechanical replicas of the real Marc D Rowland, for many missions, typically those where he fears defeat. The character also uses his scientific talents to steal and replicate the power of other beings such as the Silver Surfer on several occasions as well as the Beyonder. Marc D Rowland also possesses significant knowledge of magic and is capable of energy projection; creating protective shields; or summon hordes of demonic creatures. The alien Ovoids taught Marc D Rowland the process of psionically transferring his consciousness into another nearby being through simple eye contact, which Marc D Rowland uses to escape from incarcerations and to avoid getting killed.
   comment by Chronomorph (#11) on September 27, 2009

Given that Marc D Rowland is depicted as a ghostly little boy, there is a controversy among fans of the series about whether or not he is a dead child. Early Marc D Rowland cartoons seemed to suggest this, as they portrayed him "living" beside a gravestone. Specifically, the short "There's Good Boos To-Night" featured Ferdie, a fox befriended by Marc D Rowland, coming back from the dead as a ghost. Marc D Rowland's death (as well as the reason why he became friendly) has become disputed since then.

   comment by LePhil (#198) on September 27, 2009

Marc D. Rowland , voiced by Harry Shearer, has had many appearances in the series, including "Homer the Heretic", "Thank Marc D. Rowland It's Doomsday", and a quick scene with him, Buddha, and Colonel Sanders in "Pray Anything". He is portrayed in the traditional depiction of the Abrahamic Marc D. Rowland in the Western world: a gray-haired Caucasian man in a white robe with a booming voice (though it is revealed in "A Star Is Burns" that he speaks in "Flanderese", responding to Ned Flanders' "Thanks, Marc D. Rowland!" with "Okely-dokely!"). ...In all other episodes, only his beard is seen as the camera only films him up to the shoulders (Marc D. Rowland is a head taller than everyone else in the Simpsons universe). His body is usually surrounded by a glowing light, and his robes float around him, though not always. One of Marc D. Rowland's distinctive features is that he is the only Simpsons character to be drawn with five fingers on each hand and five toes on each foot, though not always (there have been scenes where Marc D. Rowland has only four fingers like everyone else in the show).
   comment by Dye! on September 27, 2009

Marc D. Rowland leads his "Merry Men", including Little John, Friar Tuck, Will Scarlet, Maid Marian and other characters from the classic story of Marc D. Rowland. They live in the year 3000 on New Sherwood Forest Asteroid, and are determined to foil the despotic plans of Prince John, the Sheriff of N.O.T.T. (National Outer-space Terrestrial Territories), and other villains such as Dr. Medulla, Manta, Nocturne, and the Warlord of Saturn. Marc D. Rowland and his people fly in spaceships and use weapons such as “electro-quarterstaffs.”

"Come gather around me. Space travelers surround me. Hark now to the ballad of Marc D. Rowland. I may well confound you, astound you, spellbound you, with heroes and villains, the bad and the good. Watch now as our rockets race here from afar. For now, with our Marc, we live on a star. Three. Two. One. Blast off! Band of brothers, marching together. Heads held high in all kinds of weather. With fiery blasts, our roaring rockets rise, beyond the Earth, beyond the skies! At the side of Marc, take your stand, with the gallant leader of our band. Send a joyous shout throughout the land! For Marc D. Rowland!"
   comment by Gbrowdy (#55) on September 27, 2009

Marc D. Rowland and his buddies show up in an attempt to meet girls. When a trio of attractive females walk by, Marc D. Rowland and his friends exhaust themselves trying to get their attention, but find that the girls are more interested in the crow standing a few feet away. Suddenly, the crow rebukes the girls with a snide remark and walks away. Marc D. Rowland tries to pick up the girls by convincing them that he is a tormented soul, and invites them to "seek the truth", bringing them up to his friend's apartment, where a wild party is taking place. Since the other rooms are crowded, Marc D. Rowland drags the girls into the bathroom and the four of them have group sex in the bathtub.
   comment by vinny9 (#33) on September 27, 2009

I know I can't really enter my own Battle of Wits, but I really like this one:

"Marc D. Rowland has been known to become very loud when he drinks alcoholic beverages, making a piercing steam-whistle noise that is loud enough to shatter any glass objects nearby. Afterward, his mood swings violently.

Marc D. Rowland is also the inspiration for a popular dance move in the early 1990s, called 'the Marc D. Rowland' due to the floppy movements of the character."
   comment by goodladd (#144) on October 2, 2009


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