| My Cosmo has arrived! |
| After all these years, I can finally learn how to be a real woman. Apparently, men love it when you sound sexy on the phone: "For a vocal effect that has major charm appeal, drop your jaw and keep your lips slightly pursed so sound resonates and comes out fuller". Also, my romantic life is sure to improve if I "wear pink" on my next date because men like "happy hues". Oh, yes, and the most important tip this month is that I should get a pair of "boyfriend undies": "Courteney Cox and Sarah Jessica Parker have snatched up these panties, which have men's monikers spelled out in crystals". I'm a little confused, though, because on p.7, I'm told not to wear any underwear at all. Ever. Hmmm, I guess this is pretty complex stuff. |
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| Discovery |
Hello. It just occurred to me that my pet peeves include public humming and the phrase "Don't be shy!".
I just received a rather unusual gift. A subscription to Cosmo magazine. Guess this will come in handy whenever I find myself needing 604 ways to pleasure a man's nipple. Call me. |
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| Trembling Mountain |
| Inspired by a romantic article in the Gazette, I climbed Mont Tremblant yesterday. I highly recommend it. It was gorgeous! I also highly recommend vast amounts of cardiovascular activity in the months prior to your climb. The hike took about 2 strenuous hours of steep goodness. Please note that you'll need more than just a lousy bottle of water and half an apple. You'll require several litres of water and perhaps a whole apple. Also, the "relaxing" gondola ride down is actually quite terrifying on a windy day. I did, however, see two people engaged in sexual activity in the gondola across from us. I suppose they weren't as concerned with the possibility of plummeting to their deaths as we were. I think I've just discovered the beauty of love! |
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| What happened to old-fashioned blowing and wooing? |
So I'm invited to yet another wedding and I'm scrolling through the registry when I happen upon a "candle snuffer" for $27.00.
I think a guy was trying to impress me the other day by insisting that everyone looks like an animal. He is quite adamant that I resemble a cat. We then, as he puts it, "conversated," about just how many words in the English language are not used and how he doesn't understand most of them anyway. Like "hostile". He didn't know what that meant. So I showed him. |
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| Humanity is Grand |
| Sometimes I just want to wrap my arms around all of humankind and just give a little squeeze. And I'm not even being sarcastic. Share in the love friends! Hug one another! Let's dance in the rain! This liquid paper smells divine! |
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| New Poll |
| = Weeee! |
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| Doh! I forgot to concentrate on humor! |
Look what AA (adorably anonymous) wrote about the Passover skit I posted a while back:
"Incidentally, the script is not in script format. If you do about three more rewrites and are ruthless and concentrate on some more embarrassment and humor it may be pretty funny. Build on the "Girl"'s character too."
Notice the misuse of a quotation mark as an apostrophe. Ha! And where is this calculator that determines precisely how many rewrites are needed? Ugly people can be so critical! I know. I've made a therapy appointment for tomorrow.
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| Not about ME |
Just a 'shout out' to all you improv stars: COME TO WORKSHOP on Thursday. We've got to keep numbers up so that uh...we can still like have workshop and stuff.
Also, you should all play tennis. It's the most beautiful thing in the world (after Maryam, of course).
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| Uh... |
Yes, well, I'm noticing that Maryam made it into the poll. Um, see, doesn't anyone um wish that I was single? Not to take anything away from Maryam (she's real pretty) but I'm not in the poll is all I'm saying.
Carry on.
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| Hmmm |
I find the power to rate skits anonymously rubs me the wrong way. Who are you people? Where do you come from? And, most importantly, what is your name??
Signed, NIKKI (proud and free) |
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