a SKETCH
Any thoughts?Two guys are sitting in a sandwich shop.
Tim: What’d you get?
Andy: Salami and ham. How about you?
Tim: Turkey and cheese. With a Coke.
Andy: Is that all you ever drink, Coke?
Tim: It’s nature’s perfect food.
Andy: What!? If you call a factory nature!
Tim: One of God’s creations!
(He opens can)(The can was shook up and sprays around. Tim covers it with his hands.)
Andy: Jesus! What a mess! Does a half full can of Coke cost half price?
Tim: Very funny. Grab me some napkins.
(Andy pulls out some napkins from the dispenser and hands to Tim)
(Tim wipes off hands)(paper starts sticking to his hands)
Tim: It’s still a great product. I love my Coke! (shreds of paper are all over his hands)
Tim: Damn! My hands are all sticky!
Andy (tries to pull off the paper): It’s like it’s stuck permanently!
Tim: This is cool!
(as these lines are read Tim is rising and presents his hands, full of shredded paper, in the air)
V.O.: From these humble beginnings was born the world’s newest crimefighter,
Sticky Fingers Man!
(Lights down and up on a bank, there’s a crook at the teller window, Tim is walking in carrying a can of Coke)
Crook (to teller): This is a stickup! Give me all your money!
Tim: This is a job for Sticky Fingers Man! (he shakes the can and sprays it all over his hands)
Crook (to teller): C’mon! Hurry up!
(Tim walks over near crook, who notices and turns to face Tim)
Tim: Wow! I don’t meet bank robbers very often. Can I shake your gun hand?
Crook: What! Are you nuts?
Tim(frustrated)(facing audience): Damn!
(Lights down and up on Tim walking and we see a flame effect, as he looks up in horror)
Tim: Oh my god! A burning building! (points) And there’s a baby!
(he shakes up can of Coke and sprays)
Tim (calling up): Jump flaming baby! Jump into my super sticky hands! I won’t drop you!
(a fireman walks over)
Fireman: Hey buddy. We’re doing fire drills here. It’s unsafe. Please move away.
Tim (protesting): But, Flaming Baby!
Fireman (points up-indicating): It’s just a doll.
Tim (faces audience): Damn!
(Lights down and up on an elderly lady with a walker. She drops a dollar and stops)
Lady (calling): Please! Someone help me! I’ve dropped my dollar!
Tim (he’s nearby and notices): Finally! Someone I can help!
(shakes and sprays hands and moves over to her)
Tim: I'll help you lady
(he picks up the dollar and hands it to her. She tries to take it but it’s stuck to his hand)
Lady (angry): Give me my dollar!
Tim: I’m trying to! It’s stuck!
Lady: Give me—You’ve stolen my dollar! Help! Police!
(Tim looks around quickly and runs off, with woman shaking her fist)
(Lights down)
V.O: From these humble beginnings was born the world’s newest arch criminal,
Sticky Fingers Man!
(pause)
V.O. (cont)
This sketch is sponsored by Coca Cola. Any resemblance to real Coca Cola is expressly implied. Coke is yummy. Coca Cola cannot be consumed without prior purchase. Try our yummy new Vanilla Coke! Coke is naturally good. Artificial flavor added.
| Posted by larrylorre on October 4, 2003 with category tags of Skit |
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Written by larrylorre
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